I think you should get an appointment with a behavioral health therapist or psychiatrist. This is not something you are imagining and it sounds like you will not be able to pull out of it without some help. You may have a chemical imbalance that could be helped with medication. A therapist would not be able to prescribe, so you would also need to see a doctor who treats psych disorders. Some family practice doctors have become quite good at working with this type of problem.
If you have health insurance, you could contact them for a referral, or you can check with your local mental health agency or http://www.nami.org
(National Alliance on Mental Illness). There may be a support group in your area where you could meet with others who struggle with such things. It can be difficult to take the first step to getting there but you will be surprised how helpful it can be to mingle with others who also struggle.
The answers in online forums are for information only and are not intended to substitute for medical advice and care. Please see your personal health care provider for further evaluation of your individual case.
Debbie Miller, RN