What you are experiencing should be evaluated by a psychiatrist so you can get an accurate and current diagnosis. Sometimes what starts out as depression is later discovered to be bipolar and there are two types of bipolar disorder so your symptoms may be more consistent with type II than with type I for instance.
Do get an appointment soon because getting on the right treatment plan can make all the difference for your quality of life. Yet, it can take time to get meds regulated and to determine the right diagnosis, so once in treatment, be patient for results.
If you feel you might harm yourself, please call for emergency help. Realize that it is not you talking, but that you may be coming from a place that is controlled by chemicals which may be out of balance. When this happens, you need help from someone who can see beyond where you are at that time. Once the chemicals are in balance, you will feel better and life will be worth living.
Good luck with this.
The answers in online forums are for information only and are not intended to substitute for medical advice and care. Please see your personal health care provider for further evaluation of your individual case.
Debbie Miller, RN