I think I should expand on my History a little, so here goes....
I was sexually active, smoking pot and drinking alcohol at thirteen years old.
Before I was sixteen I had also taken amphetamines (speed), Cocaine, LSD and also had a very, very bad experience (poss overdose) on mushrooms.
By the time I was eighteen I realised that I had to turn my life around. I stopped doing drugs but continued to binge drink quite heavily.
Whilst in my early twenties my father died and I went into self destruct mode.
I was fighting every weekend with anyone who wanted a go. This was a release for my anguish and inner pain. This phase lasted approx five years.
My wife has stood by me every step of the way and without her I probably wouldnt be here now. She deserved better and I finally realised this and begun once again to straighten my life out.
Now, after a lot of hard work. I have, once again turned my life around.
I have a good job, I only drink in moderation, I am a doting father and a loving husband and my family are my world. I am also a well respected member of the community.
I know, deep down, that I have deep emotional scars and I have learnt to live with them to a certain extent. I never want my demons to rear their ugly head again and although I feel I have them under control. I never want to put my wife through any of this ever again.
On one hand I want a diagnosis, but on the other I don't want to be labeled, if that makes any sense.
Would I benefit from speaking to a professional and if so how do I go about it?
Can it be in confidence without going on my medical records?
Would I benefit from some sort of meds? or therapy?