by Faye Lang, RN, MSW » Fri Jan 23, 2009 4:58 pm
Hello Whoanelly,
Your stepson's behavior is unusual, but may not be abnormal. There is a strong developmental aspect to his activities. He is at the age that many children of both sexes become aware of their sexuality and experiment in different ways. It is not unusual for a boy to use women's underwear as stimulation, but it is not usual for the person to "steal" the items; they know they are likely to be caught. It's good that you have talked with your daughter, but has anyone had a discussion with your stepson regarding sex and appropriate expression of his urges? If not, it is overdue. There are many books available for adolescents that give such information in non-threatening ways. It's important that while his activities must be appropriately expressed, he is not shamed or informed that sex itself is bad. You must monitor the situation, but using the items you describe does not automatically mean that your stepson is deviant or that he will definitely experiment with your daughter. Ideally, your husband would purchase a book or books that he finds appropriate, and then have the discussion with his son, stressing that he can talk with his father about sex whenever he needs to.
I wish you luck with your situation.
Faye L., RN, MSW
