Ithink i have anxiety and depression and weird thought

[pollsecond]

I live in Romania and i am 19 so forgive my spelling.My problem started five years ago when
my father was screaming at me very often,offending me and saying i wouldn do anything with my life.I was feeling bad,worthless and i thought "What if i couldn't concentrate no more in everything i do,what if i won't concentrate on reading,or when speaking with someone,or in any other situations"the i would be useless.So i got very stressed and depressed.At the begining i was analysing myself all the time to see if i am focused,i could't help it.When i was reading a book i kept thinking "am i concentrating?" and i always found that actually i wasn't paying attention to what i was reading.and it really frustrates me.(i can not focus when i want to)I started thinking i have an issue wich is unsolvable and i started to withdrawn,started to talk less,have periods of sadness.I don't remember well if i was depressed before the day i thought "what if i couldn't focus".Over this 5 years i learned a little to live with with this thought but it is very difficult.I think of the possibility that ,maybe i really can not focus.
I have become very anxious when meeting people,i feel a knot in my thoat,i lost interest in food.I knew i mus not have to let myself destroyd by this problem so tried to continue studys,now i am at college and try to pretend i am ok.I am taking Abiliy and Rivotril(Klonopin) but they aren't working pretty well.
Could you reccomend me something?(Paxil,Effexor,Lexapro..etcSSRI or SSRNI)).Don't worry doctors in Romania ar by far inferior to you.Romania is not developed country..

[Beverly H.]

It sounds very much to me as though you are suffering from undiagnosed Attention-deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (AD/HD). Inability to focus, especially when reading is a primary symptom. Also, it seems you have had these focusing problems since you were young, which also fits the diagnosis. Low self-esteem, social anxiety and even depression can result from lack of treatment. Ideally, you should seek an opinion from a physician or psychiatrist who is knowledgable about AD/HD if possible. If it turns out that is your problem, it makes sense that your current medications would not be too helpful. There are other more effective treatments for AD/HD. A second opinion is essential, at any rate.
Good luck to you.

Beverly H.