It sounds like your feelings of paranoia have been preventing you from doing things in your life. Paranoia is related to a thought process involving anxiety and fear.
However, there are meds that doctors will use for paranoia. A psychologist may do some testing to rule out any other health problem that may have caused any of the paranoid behavior. They could prescribe non addictive anti anxiety meds. Low doses of antipsychotic meds have been used also.
Some individuals with paranoia are leary of taking medications. I'm sure an evaluation would be a good start, and to let your psychologist know how you are feeling, and maybe you can be part of the plan in what you would be taking for medication, since you are concerned about how it may make you feel.
Some medications will make you feel tired. maybe starting on a low dose of something would give you the feeling of what it may do for you.
Sad to say, a lot of medications seem to be trial and error. It is not always easy to be on something and always have it work for you, but in the long run, if there is a med out there that will be helpful in making you feel better about yourself, and allow you to have the quality of life you deserve to have, it may be a benefit to you.
Good luck to you!
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