stll virgin after marriage

[riya]

hi,actually m married for a yr to my long time boyfriend...v luv each other a lot...my problem is i m still a virgin...v have tried many times to hav proper sex but it hurts for me lik hell...i even got a cramp on my sides ven v tried the first time....v do oral sex only coz of tat....my husband is very patient but i cant go on lik tis...wat shud i do???i hav been havin tis fear bfor marriag itself...for my frends who r married said tey dint experience any problem even the first time...wat shud i do???pls help....

[Debbie Miller, RN]

Hello,
You should see a doctor about this to rule out any structural problems, infections, etc. You may have dyspareunia (a fancy word for painful sex). I know, you didn't need a doctor to tell you that. Infections can cause this or you could have vaginal spams (vaginismus) so finding the correct diagnosis is the key to finding the solution to the problem. Some women appreciate being involved in a support group with others who experience this and can help them find ways to deal with it and improve their sex lives.

I'm glad your husband is patient and it will likely take a while to get to the bottom of this. With the help of your doctor and/or therapist you should be able to find a way to have traditional sexual intercourse.

Best wishes.