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- Thu Nov 13, 2008 4:44 pm
I'll be 20 years old next year, and I've been sexually active for about 3 years. I've been with my current boyfriend for about 8 months. Before I was with him, I had sex but I didnt have much sensation of enjoyment, it just didnt feel like anything much. Now, my enjoyment of sex has really built up over the last 7 months, but no matter what we do I am unable to climax. And my boyfriend has really tired pleasing me in every way.
This is starting to really conern me, and I'm wondering if it is a physical or a psycological issue? And what can I do to fix it?
| Debbie Miller, RN
- Mon Nov 17, 2008 3:40 pm
Many, many women are in your same predicament. It can be very frustrating but is quite common and normal. This is something that sometimes takes years to perfect between two people who love each other. It can be either psychological or physical or a combination. You may not reach this point until you are in a long-term relationship (marriage?). Patience is a virtue here and you can learn techniques over time but the physical act alone is usually not sufficient for many women. Adequate lubrication can help and there is a product I heard good things about called Zestra, though I have no first-hand experience.
Drug companies are working on medications that might help female sexual dysfunction, as it is commonly called. Their hope is to find something comparable to Viagra for women. There are some things in the testing stages but nothing has so far risen to meet the need here. Hormones can play a role but it is not easy to manipulate them to get the desired results either. Nature seems to be on her own agenda here.
Try to give yourself time and enjoy the journey without so much emphasis on the destination. Chances are as you relax and stop worrying about that, it will one day happen for you.