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- Mon Nov 26, 2007 3:04 am
Broken arm as a child
No abnormality history
I have a horrible deformity which is very hard to talk about, people around me, even my family do not even realize it. Looking at me you would probably never see it, but I do.It has totally ruined my social life. At about 16 I noticed that my face want as equal on each side as other peoples, I tried to ignore it, then I noticed that my left testicle started hanging lower than my right, the head on the penis is less curvy on the right side than on the left, my right armpit did not stink as bad as my left, but started stinking about the same after about 2 years at 18. I was pretty chubby in HS but now I am losing weight and my left love handle is almost gone, while my right is about half an inch or less petrudes more, same with my hip at the leg, it petrudes out more. My right nipple has less hair than my left, my jaw bone measures about half an inch shorter on my right than on the left, its like my right side of the body is not keeping up with my left, and I have never told anybody about this, if anyone I knew found out I wouldn't be able to look them in the eyes.This has completely ruined my life, I feel like a complete defect, I will never be able to get married or have kids, I think about this every day. All I want is to be normal, I just want to know what could have caused it, am I doomed for life? Is it my DNA? Is it fixable? I'm dimmer with math than average, is my left or right side of the brain not developing like the other? I'm not a loser, I'm a defect,I just want to be normal. If any of the doctors have any information on this or could guide me to someone who would have something, it would be greatly appreciated.
| Debbie Miller, RN
- Mon Nov 26, 2007 5:21 pm
I can see these things have caused you great stress even though they do not sound like something that is noticeable to others. I worry that you say this "deformity has ruined your life." I think it is important to have a general physical exam with a doctor where you can discuss these concerns in depth to rule out any syndrome or actual health problem.
People are not perfectly symmetrical and nobody is perfect in any way. Testicles are uneven in most men and most people would be surprised how different they would look if they were able to make both sides of their faces exactly the same. Their appearance would be quite different.
Good relationships don't rely on physical perfection and it is much more important to find someone who can love you for the person you are; not for your physical body. While appearance can make a difference, it is usually not the most important factor in a successful love life.
If these things are not threatening your health it is possible you may not be able to be as you say, "normal" but you should still learn to accept the body you have. This does not mean that you have no problem but many people with serious deformities do learn to make the most of their situation, have healthy self-images and lead happy, productive lives. You may also benefit from therapy to deal with the issues you have about your body. In conjunction with your medical doctor, you may be able to make great strides in the happiness arena. Some reassurance that imperfect can also be normal along with an evaluation to rule out physical concerns should help.
You have talents and abilities that are unique to you and cannot be compared with another person. Plenty of normal people struggle with math, reading, or other academics. Do get this checked out.
Good luck to you.