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Forum Name: Miscellaneous Cancer Topics

Question: Need an answer Quick PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


 labreu - Mon Mar 06, 2006 12:41 pm

Morning, My boyfriends Grandmother whom I consider my grandma also has just been diagnosed with Lung, Liver, Spleen, and Bone Cancer is in the care of an exceptional team of oncology doctors at Milwaukee Froedert Hospital. Now what the family is planning is just not setteling right woth me. They are planning to move Grandma to Arizona.

But first let me state that she is on Oxygen, she is in alot of pain and, is somewhat confused sometimes. She is very angry which is expected. She can barely move around because it hurts so bad. Most of her family is here in WI only one son is in Arizona. He is a nurse and would be able to care for her better than anyone else in the family because of the medical background he has but I still think the thought of moving grandma is a bad decision. Chemo is not an option because she i so frail and it would only prolong her life (an educated guess) (said by the doctor) maybe 3 months at the mst. I personally think that she will not make it long seeing as the cancer is so advanced. I believe that the family is deciding from the heart but I also believe that the family is in denial also.

I do not think that the move is a smart thing to do. I think that it would make everything worse not to mention that she will have to go through [u][b]all[/b][/u] the tests that she has already went through with a new team of doctors. Not to mention the doctors would have to assemble a new team of doctors. Please get back to me as soon as possible with your thoughts and I will be sure to share them with the family.
 Theresa Jones, RN - Thu Mar 09, 2006 9:48 am

User avatar Hi labreu,
I am sure that this must be a difficult ordeal for all of you. Is the family all in agreement with your grandma going to Arizona? If they are, and hospice or palliative care is what is being considered, then essentially there would not be a team of doctors intervening to identify treatment plans, but comfort measures instead. Sometimes at the end of life it is quite difficult for family members to cope with, becomes extremely stressful to say the least. If the other family memebers are in agreement with her going to Arizona, maybe they feel that her son, is in the best position to not only care for her and keep her at the optimal comfort level, but also be the best one to deal with end of life issues. My suggestion to you is sit down and talk with the rest of the family, not only to see how they feel and what their reasons are for allowing this to transpire but to also express your sadness and your reasons why you feel this may not be the best thing for her. Regardless of what the final decision is, to keep her there or allow her son to care for her, you will have had the opportunity to express your opinion (in a respectful way) and they will know that you love her and want what's best for her as well. This may not be the response that you were hoping for, but when a life is succumbed by a terminal condition it is very difficult indeed. There are no easy, right or wrong answers for everyone as a standard but decisions are tailored on an individual basis and whats best for that particular person.
Sincerely,
Theresa Jones, RN

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