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Forum Name: Pediatric Topics

Question: Need important advice


 Gracie - Mon Jul 04, 2005 12:34 pm

I am very worried abotu my friend and her 10 year old son, and I am looking for any information, help that I can find to help him.
She had him when she was 14 years old. She was to young to be a mother and did not want him. Her mother told her she had to keep him, and forced her to take care of him. She wanted to gie him for adoption. As a result of being forced into motherhood, she resented her son, and tried to stay away from him as much as possible. She did not want anything to do with him. She also didnt treat him very nicely, and tho he was never physicially abused, he was mentially abused his whole life, just because he was not wanted around. He leared very early in life how to take care of himself, how to turn on the tv, and get dressed, but he is slow learner in school, and behind other kids his age, probably because he don't have someone at home helping him with homework and stuff.

He was never an easy child to be around, he was very hard to handle, prone to horrible tantrums, but that only made matters worse. he has not been shown affection or love.
He refuses to comb his hair, but if you try to make him, he will throw a fit liek you tried to kill him. I can remember one time he had sores in his mouth, and I tried to give him something to make him feel better, he had a fit, he cried and screamed and cowered in the corner like I tried to beat him, and all I did was offer some medicine to help his mouth from being sore. He does not play with other kids, he is completly anti social, he onyl like to play vidoe games, he don't play with toys, or liek to go outside, his personal hygene is terrible, and I don't know if thats because he is just a 10 year old boy, or because he was never taught the proper way to bathe or wipe his butt, or if its because he just don't care. He doesnt laugh, or have fun, or act liek a normal little kid, all he likes to do is play vidoe games.
His mother has taken him to dozens of doctors, and they have diagnosed him with every mental illness known, from Bi polar, to ADHD. He has been prescribed a ton of drugs, but none have calmed him down, they have just turned him into a zombie, but his attitude is the same.
My personal opinion is although he may possibly have some mental illness, who wouldnt that has gone through what he has? he has never been shown love. I don't think any drug in the world can cure that.
Eventually, He went to live with his grandmother, but she cant handle him anymore. He is just oiut of control. His mother does not want him back, she is at the end of her rope. But she cant seem to find any governtment help to aid her. She has called a lot of psychiatric homes and such, btu until he is a threat to himself or others, noone will take him. She does nto want to put him into foster care, because bouncing him from home to home wont help either. I think he need to be admitted to a group home of some sort, taken off all the drugs, and start over from scratch, but apparently, she cant find any group homes, or facilities to deal with this.

My question is what can be done for this child? He is going to grow up to be a very miserable depressed, drug addicted person, and I just feel terribly for him, he didnt deserve to be born into this kind of life.
Does anyoen know of any homes he can be placed in to give him therepy counciling.....affection and comfort. The family does not have money, so it has to be some kind of governtment assistance, she does get disability checks for him...she is at the end of her rope wwith this child, and I am worried about his welfare and his welbeing.
 Jennifer R.N. - Tue Jul 05, 2005 10:42 pm

Have you looked into that? It's a form of High-functioning autism. He sounds like he may have some of the characteristics. The antisocial behavior, the tantrums, the obsessive behavior (with the video games) and such. Look it up on the net and see if he fits the bill. Unfortunately there is no drug for it. It just takes alot of time and tons of patience and even more love. I know...my 10 year old son has it. :)

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