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Dependent personality disorder
Dependent personality disorder is difficult to diagnose due to the
other personality traits which cross over or interfere with the
diagnosis. There is a general inability to make decisions and a
difficult time in performing activities due to lack of self esteem.
These people live a frustrated life in which they can not express their
feelings due to the need for acceptance from their peers.
Over time relationships with these people tend to deteriorate. The
constant neediness and dependency at some point will never be able to be
filled. The analogy of a deep hole that a person continues to pour dirt
into but that can never be completely filled describes the emotional
investment a person has in relationships with these people. This occurs
to the point that the lives of the people around the dependent
personality are consumed only to the point they are willing to let it
consume them. When the break occurs the dependent persons life has in
turn become the life of the other person. The dependent person has
difficulty in letting the relationship go. The dynamic of the
relationship is one where in a dysfunctional way the two lives become
one. The dependent person does not understand why the supportive persons
are leaving them and always feel as if they did something wrong and if
that could be changed that everything will get better.
The reality is that everyone (other than controlling persons) can only
invest a certain amount into someone else until it begins to consume
them. And when they leave the relationship it creates a vacuum because
the dependent person suffers the loss of the relationship and the loss
of what they became. This only increases the feelings of failure over
and over. It is not unusual that in the times of desperation the
dependent person will threaten suicide or break all ties with their
support system in reaction to the failed relationship.
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