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- Thu Dec 29, 2005 10:43 am
I'm finding an interesting mix of emotions over the past 12-18 months that have really made themselves strong in my mind. I'd love to understand where it all stems from and if theres anything I can do to help balance out.
I can break things down into two seemingly unrelated, but equally strong areas...
First, I've found myself unusually preoccupied with personal comfort and security. I don't have problems/fears with being unsafe or uncomfortable, but I'm strangely compelled to anything that provides shelter, security or comfort. I love standing under umbrellas, parking cars in garages, and organizing information perfectly. It seems to be an interest in controlling my environment or simply being in control. It's very hard to explain, but basically I get an endorphine rush from anything that provides me personal comfort. I know that much of this is just human, but I've noticed it's come to the forefront of my life the past year and that's what interests me.
Secondly, I've found myself completely turned off by allowing people to acknowledge my accomplishments, especially when things haven't come to fruition yet. For example, I don't like anyone to know I'm pursuing a particular job until I've actually gotten the job and started working there. I hate building up any sort of expecations, because things don't always go as planned.. As another example, I'll be moving to a big city soon, but its bothering me that people keep bringing it up and asking me about my plans. I just want to make it happen without any exectations from those around me. I'll be happy to share it with them as I'm successful, but I'd rather look back and say what I've done rather than build expecations. Moreover, when someone acknowledges something I've done of significance, such as an extraordinary piece of work or completion of something, I'm unusually low-key and don't take ownership of it.
Sorry for the length, but I've been needing to get that out of my head for a while now.
If nothing else, I'd just like some direction so I can learn more about my own mind and why I've been like this. I'm sure it has a lot to do with some negative life experiences over the past year or two.
Best regards, I appreciate any help you can offer..
| Rhonda P, CEP
- Sun Jan 01, 2006 4:29 pm
You may want to talk to a Psychologist or Physician about being tested for OCD or other Psychological disorders. OCD is a deep subject with a number of topics. I will keep the infomation short and basic.
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) symptoms occur in people of all ages, all walks of life. There are different levels of OCD, tests can be done to measure the level and type.
OBSESSIONS – thoughts, images, or impulses that occur over and over again and feel out of your control. You may have uncomfortable feelings such as fear, disgust, doubt or a feeling that things need to be done a certain way or they aren’t done right.
COMPULSIONS – things that you do over and over again usually using “rules”. This is usually done to ease the obsessions you are feeling.
Most people who have OCD know they are being excessive and that it is in their mind but can’t stop their actions or keep them under control for long.