I am a 22 year old female with depression
. I am taking effexor
xr 150 mgs per day. Two nights ago I stole a bottle of xanax (.25mgs) from my mom and took all 20 tablets. I had also taken double the dose of effexor
xr (300 mgs) that day. Then I proceeded to drink a lot of alcohol (9 drinks maybe?).
I phoned a psychiatric hospital but hung up and decided that it would be best to drive myself. I was too drugged to find it and started passing out. Somehow (I don't remember any of this) I wound up back in the garage and passed out in my car (it's only about 5 degrees F here). My mom found me and I went down to my room where I again passed out for about 34 hours.
This is the second time I've attempted suicide. The problem is, somehow I lost my bottle of effexor
and it is nowhere to be found. I'm scared of withdrawals. I have not been honest with my doctor about my suicidal thoughts. Should I make an appointment to get a refil of effexor
? I don't want to gain weight from drugs. I still want to die. I feel so out of it.