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- Thu Jun 08, 2006 8:44 am
Hello, I'm a 37 year old female. I have had some problems with depression in the past mostly related to different tramatic events in my life. Over the last few months I have been somewhat depressed but it has gotten significantly worse. This week my husband and I were told that he has severe heart problems and he is at a great risk of sudden cardiac death.
I love my husband dearly and this has "sent me over the edge." I can not stop crying. I'm to the point that I feel almost numb. If I had the guts I know I would kill myself but I'm to big of a chicken. I've already buried one man that I was in love with. I can never survive that pain again. I feel terribly selfish and I don't want to be. I wish I were strong and had the ability to take care of my husband the way I should but it seems as if my mind is just shutting down. I can't control my feelings at all.
I know that there are people in this world who have suffered much worse things than I ever have but I feel that I've had more than my share of tragedies. I just can't deal with one more.
My husband is angry that I can't stop crying but I can't control it. I don't want to cause him any undue stress. I honestly just want my life to end. I'm tired and I feel that everything inside of me is gone.
| Theresa Jones, RN
- Sat Jun 10, 2006 7:32 am
I would strongly suggest that you seek the services of a qualified counselor as well as an evaluation by your physician. As for your husbands heart problems, you must keep in mind, there have been many advances in treating heart conditions. Please do not take this the wrong way. All of us will pass at some point. While it may seem unfair that some do not live as long as others, suffer certain tragedies, due to illness, conditions, or circumstances, I truly believe that there are reasons for all, many of which we don't understand. I also believe that life should be a celebration, and attention should be focused on living, not focused on death. None of us know when our lives will end, today, tomorrow, from something totally unexpected......Negativity breeds negative atmospheres, why waste your energy on the negative outlook when you can be positive and live your life to the fullest? I truly hope this has been somewhat helpful, and best wishes to you both.
Theresa Jones, RN