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Forum Name: Psychiatric Topics

Question: How to define sexual abuse


 January - Tue Feb 12, 2008 12:28 pm

I am a 19 year old female. When I was 14 I dated a guy for 6 months. We never had intercourse but did do mutual masturbation stuff. We both consented to this. One day however, I kept telling him to stop and he would not. It bothered me then and still does today, but I figured since we had done it before it was just me being emotional. A friend of mine said the other day that this was molestation. I feel like that is going overboard on the label, but I cannot get it out of my head and was wondering if it really was or if my friend just overreacted?
Thank you.
 Dr. Chan Lowe - Tue Feb 12, 2008 11:24 pm

User avatar Hello January,

Regardless of previous activity, if a person says no the line has been established. If someone breaks that line, this is considered abusive. It is very important that the boundaries you establish be respected. The definition of molestation is unwanted sexual contact.

So, the follow up to this that the definition of what occurred should not necessarily redefine how this event makes you feel. If you were previously coping emotionally well with this incident the struggle for you will be to not redefine the difficulties now that you recognize it was inappropriate.

I would also add that with issues like this, you are never being over emotional. If you decide to stop, that should be the limit and everyone should respect that. To fail to stop is abusive.

These can be difficult issues so I would recommend you consider talking with a counselor if you are having any difficulties with this.

Best wishes.

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