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- Thu Mar 13, 2008 11:30 pm
I am a 25 years old software professional.
I am from India and currently posted in Melbourne(Australia) and working as contractor in IBM Australia.
I have a long time problem with insecurity,inferiority phobia and jealously.
I will give a brief back ground about myself.
I was a good student in my childhood and always used to stand first in my class.
And my parents and myself also had created feeling within me that I always have to stand first and If I cant
stand first then I am no longer good.
So,I always wanted to be in a comfortable position in my life by doing the best so that nobody including me can
question my credibility and I can live happily.
I really used to get scared if I found someone in my class who is really good in studies and can beat me.
It used to create a huge level of insecurity,jealousy within me about that person.And I used to start
feeling depressed and scared of loosing my comfort zone in my class.
Now in my professional career also the same thing is continuing.
In my professional life also I am equally good in work and I always want to be in a comfortable position
in my project team.
Here also,when I encounter someone in my project team who is having good skill I start feeling insecure.
I feel of loosing everything out of scare and start feeling hugely depressed.
I become very very jealous about the person and never able to mingle with the person as I feel he is my
I cant concentrate as this fear pings my mind every now and then.
Sometimes I advice myself to be steady and just think about my work and nothing else.
These advice works for sometime and again the phobia comes to my mind and I start feeling scared and
I don't feel like doing anything and my mind is always occupied with these thoughts.
This hampers my personality as in this situation I am doubtful about myself.
I know this world is not all about to be the best always and it's not possible to be the best always as
there are so many people who are better than me.
But I don't have the attitude to take that positively.And I take the competition negatively and afraid
I am very very much scared of competition as I feel the other guy who is better than me will take away
all the name and fame from me and people will not give me importance as I am not good anymore as some other
person is there who can help them and I am of no use.
I want to live happily.
I really don't want all these things in my life.
But I cant convince my mind to get free of all these feeling and thoughts.
I had consulted with one psychiatrist in India and was adviced some tranquilizers.
I take this when I am very very much agitated with these thoughts and don't find any other way.
And when after taking for few days when I feel little relaxed then i stop it gradually.
But this is not a solution as I am not able to get rid of this phobia from my mind and it captures me
like a ghost after few days and stays on my mind again for few days and most the time it stays longer
and longer and when I don't see any solution I start taking tranqulizers.
This is ruining my life.
I am at a loss.
Please help me.
| Dr. E. Seigle
- Fri Mar 14, 2008 5:02 pm
You have provided a very open, honest and insightful account of what is going on for you psychologically, as well as the reasons that you came to be so needful of being the "best" through your childhood experiences. You sound ready and able to benefit from talk psychotherapy to work on changing the patterns of thinking and feeling that are making you so unhappy. So, my advice is to seek the name of a well thought of psychotherapist to help you with this. The therapist should be located close enough so that you can see him or her once or twice per week. The therapsit probably does not need to be a psychiatrist (physician) as medication is probably not an important part of treating your problem; the treatment of choice is probably talk psychotherapy. You were brave to acknowledge and describe your painful feelings; this is a great start on learning to feel and think differently and allowing you to have more happiness. Good luck!
- Fri Mar 14, 2008 10:34 pm
Thanks a lot for your reply.
Can you please suggest me any good talk psychotherapist in Melbourne(Australia) here?
I am very new here and don't know where should I go for help.