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- Fri Jun 06, 2008 6:05 pm
The psychiatrists I have gone to don't know why I get them. I hear voices in my head. Luckily, I only hear them, they don't say things to me or anything, I'm pretty sure. I also see things when I close my eyes, some are very violent and disturbing. Some aren't scary at all but they still scare me because I suddenly see something when I close my eyes as if it's really there. The psychiatrist I had said he thinks it's signs of psychosis but not schizophrenia. This has been going on for years, the voices longer than the images though. I know they're not real but sometimes I almost start crying because it can be traumatizing closing my eyes, sometimes seeing someone being stabbed or something else from a horror movie. I don't know what to do about it, it seems to be getting worse lately. I am on lamictal and adderall and topamax. It's not peaceful not being able to just close my eyes to rest. I don't act on them, they don't say much, usually just random things. I mostly only hear them when it's quiet already like taking a shower. It's not always violent, I remember closing my eyes and seeing a little girl in a dress kneeling down looking at me and holding a flower. The violent ones and sexual are the hardest for me to deal with. Sometimes if I hear music then I might have an image of someone dancing to that type of music, it's interesting.
I'm getting tested for aspergers in a month and a half. It's not a terrible thing but would like to understand it. I'm not taking any antipsychotics right now but plan to get some from the doctor soon. I will probably have to start going to a psychiatrist again. I am just going to my family doctor. I went to a therapist a few times recently within the last couple months to see if she thinks I have aspergers. I even typed up nine pages of things about myself so she could understand me better but she said there's too much going on in my head for her to understand me so she wants me to get tested. I was hoping somebody might know anything about this, I haven't been to the psychiatrist for over two years but none of the mental doctors I had ever understood why I had the voices and images in my head and what to do about them, I was hoping maybe somebody here might, thanks.