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- Sat Jun 14, 2008 10:41 pm
I'm 24 years old, I live with my mom, I have no friends and I have never dated. I was teased a lot in high school but I never felt abnormal, just unconventional. When I went to college my perception of myself changed. From day one my freshman year roommate gave me the impression that he perceived me as being needy, defective or irregular. He insisted on helping me get involved in social activities despite the fact that I repeatedly explained him that I did not care about getting to know new people. His incredulity caused me anxiety and to a certain extent made me feel insulted.
Fast forward 6 years. I've become interested in pop psychology and now know that it could be argued that some of my personality traits when I was in college were consistent with those of people with Schizoid PD, if indeed I was telling the truth 6 years ago when I said that I did not care to know new people. I believe that I currently don't have Schizoid PD, since I'm starting to feel lonely and wish I could have a small group of friends, but I think that I still have a PD or some mental illness because I still exhibit the same symptoms I exhibited when I was younger.
Let me give you an example:
When I meet new people, I don't feel anxious, but I fear that if our encounter is prolonged long enough the other person might treat me undesirably. Social encounters are fine with me, as long as they are brief, but if they last too long I know from experience that there is a high likelihood that the other person will perceive something strange about me, as evidenced by their apparent discomfort, change in tone of voice, the way they look at me and the way they treat me. I infer from the behavior of people I've met for more just a few seconds that there is something about the way I come across after I've made a first impression that tips them off. I'd like to know what I am doing "wrong."
I could write more about my problems but I don't want to make this post longer than it needs to be. For the time being I just want to know the name of the condition I have, if I indeed have any, so that I know where to look for help. Please ask all the questions that are necessary. Thanks.
| Dr. E. Seigle
- Sat Jul 12, 2008 8:00 pm
I would not assume that you have a personality disorder, though I cannot tell over the Internet. You may simply have some traits that may put others off in some way, or you may be mis-reading the responses of others as more negative than they are. it is possible that you have a personality style (or disorder) that interferes with forming relationships, but your yearning for relationships is positive, indicating that you would like close relationships. The personality disorders that resemble what you have described include Schizoid, Schizotypal, Avoidant and a disorder called Asperger's Disorder. As I said, I cannot diagnose nor exclude these over the Internet, but don't assume you have a full fledged personality disorder. To get some help and answer your questions, you might wish to consult with a psychotherapist or a psychiatrist. The latter would give you the broadest evaluation, and then may refer you for treatment or treat you himself.
Good luck in your search for relationships; you can achieve this, I sense.
-E. Seigle MD