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- Mon Dec 29, 2008 4:22 pm
I can not tell if what I am suffering from is physical or mental, or maybe a little of both.
When I was around 15 or so (4 years ago) I was playing basketball and all of a sudden my heart started fluttering very badly out of no where. I started to get pretty disoriented and had to immediately go inside and lay down. I had to get rushed to the hospital. I kept getting waves of "attacks", where my heart would flutter super bad and beat very fast and I would feel like i was going to die every time the attacks occurred. I had my heart looked at and blood work done. Results were inconclusive although my potassium level was low.
Now that is just part of it. A year later I went through a weird phase. Every evening for about a week I would start to get flu like symptoms. By the end of each night I was sure that I would wake up the next morning completely sick from the flu full blown. Except every morning when I woke up I felt 100% OK. Up to this day almost 8 months out of the year I feel chronically fatigued, similar to Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I thought it might have been diabetes causing these strange occurrences. Everything in the blood work I got checked out OK.
I am now 19 and my current symptoms are both physical and mental. For the past year they've taken a turn for the worse. I feel totally disconnected mentally. From my own self. I feel like I'm always like 80% spaced out with whatever I'm doing. It's like I'm not conscious of what or why I am doing what I am doing. Like I use impulses for everything. It's like I'm just along for the the ride and am always spaced out tripping out on things in my mind. It's very hard to explain, sorry if I lost you. This causes my memory to be extremely poor because of my lack of attention and concentration on anything I'm actually doing or am looking at. I literally don't feel like a person, more like a robot. I feel like there is something wrong with my consciousness or like it is split in half into 2 separate identities. Like I am split from who I actually am. I also feel 0 emotion. Nothing, totally blunted. My symptoms almost describe Inattentive type ADD. I never would have thought I would have had Add though. I was always active with friends and socializing. I was the complete opposite as I am now. Maybe the ADD surfaced or grew worse through depression and some drug use (coke was drug of choice)? I was always told by teachers that I am not working to my full potential. I also wet the bed until like 9 or something. So that's basically the state of my psyche. The last 19 years almost feels like amnesia, I can't socialize at all. Not even with my family or close friends!! I've isolated myself at work. THIS IS NOT ME!!! It's so frustrating. I now have social anxiety and anxiety about every aspect of my thoughts. I pick apart and analyze everything (stupid things like conversations that I think might happen or things I think I have to defend myself about). The question is, is this all caused by anxiety or is the anxiety caused by everything that's changed in me. It's VERY hard to even contemplate for me. Every aspect of my cognition has deteriorated. From my exec functions to my personality.
As for my current physical symptoms. NO cuts on my body will heal if I receive one. My arms look like I'm a meth addict. There's little permanent scrape marks, burn marks, and scratches everywhere. My hair has been thinning/falling out. Weird stuffy feeling in head all the time (brain doesn't feel clear anymore). Chronic fatigue. Chronic tachycardia. When I stand my heart will jump to 120+ beats. My heartbeat is so uneven at rest/standing. It will go from normal to fast to slow to normal...also my lips will sometime look purple and they look like they are losing their color and turning yellow. I went to the gym and ran a mile. I had extreme pain in my chest and felt like I was going to pass out from being so light headed. I feel like my muscles are extremely weak like there's a lack of energy going to them.
Sorry for the length of this, but I felt like I needed to get everything out there that's been going on. So you can see why I've literally been driven crazy. I think to my self OK, what are the possibilities of what is wrong with me. Do I have some sort of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, do I really have an undiagnosed heart problem, do I have Anemia (because of the cuts that won't heal), am I turning schizophrenic, do I not have enough blood blow to the body/brain, is it all a personality disorder, is this all some sort of ADD, is it all just depression/anxiety. Is it a mix of something physical and mental. I feels like I have like 5 different conditions. I don't know where to even start or begin. Every diagnosis seems plausible in my mind (maybe due to me being a little on the hypochondriac side. Keep in mind ALL these symptoms are 100% real that's what makes this very hard for me). I'm getting worse and don't know what to do about it. I don't know if the physical symptoms are caused by mental symptoms or the other way around! My cognition is to the point where I feel no mental condition could cause this but schizo.
| Tim W Latsko
- Thu Jan 01, 2009 10:10 am
wrxn, thanks for your courage to present your symptoms in this forum. It sounds like you have been through quite a few medical tests and exams. If not, let me recommend that you first coordinate with and have your primary care physician review with you all of the symptoms you presented in this forum and the results of the medical tests. Should have already done this, it is time for a meeting with a psychiatrist.
Based on your presentation it sounds like you will benefit from an anti-anxiety medication and possibly an antidepressant. Recurring painful medical symptoms are frustrating and can lead to depression when they do not fit a specific diagnosis and are suggestive of some type of syndrome. The good news is that a psychiatric evalaution will likely meet your needs the best at this time along with a psychotherapist who has experience in treating persons with chronic pain/medical conditions. Take care and keep us posted. r/tim