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- Wed Jun 17, 2009 4:14 am
I feel there is something wrong in my personality but can't exactly know what is it as i'm not knowledgeable in psychological issues.
the main point is that i've tendency to complicate things that are by nature easy. I suspect this behavior raised when i integrated an engineering school where i had to spend long hours of my days solving complex and hard mathematics and physics problems. I remember i was aware of this situation when i was in the university . for all the written exams in math & physics i passed during this period -back the the 1990s- i usually failed to solve the easy questions that most of my colleagues get right and earned full points easily for those medium complex questions. however i stupidly got these questions wrong and loose those easy to earn points..on the other side i was able to go a long way in solving hard and complex questions..but because those were quit hard i got them half solved and end up loosing those points too or getting half credits for them..and thus my grades were not very satisfactory compared to my peers..
This behavior is not only in my academic life . it grows as a general behavior in most of my social and emotional life. i tend to see every event or situation in my life as a hard and complex problem to solve. Thus i ended up having real problems in my social and emotional life and started to fail a lot in my life.
i still can't understand why i have this way of thinking and looking to the world? why am i failing to deal with easy situations that most average people got right easily.
i remember a note that one of my professors wrote as a comment to one of my papers..and i'm quoting what he said as it explains well the way i tend to think and work in my life.
When I review your code and comments, I can't help to think that those are the work of an amateur. It reminds me of watching a talented amateur tennis player playing matches without a good coach.
This tennis player is quite talented, he could from time to time save some very hard to return shots. However, his footwork is no good. Often, he serves in awkward position with the consequense that when his opponent return his serves, he has to spent more effort than necessary to return the shots.
Worse, he plays badly in a game of double with a partner. Again, the same problem with the "footwork". He always stand in some awkward positions that is too close to his partner. Their oppenents could seize the opportunity to return a shots in such a way that it lands on a place where the talented player posed an obstacle for his partnet to chase the ball.
Of course this talented tennis player does not know his deficiencies because he is too involved in the game as a player and could not see some obvious thing that an outsider could see easily.
i tend to agree he was right in what he said. However i don't know what is the problem with me and how i can deal and recover from this awkward and unhealthy way of thinking and living.
| Faye Lang, RN, MSW
- Thu Jun 25, 2009 3:13 pm
It is very positive that you are able to recognize your issues. They are of considerable concern, as there is a strong flavor of obsessive-compulsive features, and obvious control issues with focus on the process rather than the outcome.
I strongly urge you to see a psychologist for evaluation, and possibly a psychiatrist for medication. Your symptoms have been reinforced over time, and you will not be able to overcome them without some help. Please seek that help as soon as you can.
Good luck to you.