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Forum Name: Psychiatric Topics

Question: paranoid and someone was mean to me should i react?


 Shafiq - Fri Sep 11, 2009 4:01 pm

i been goin through some stressful times and i feel a bit paranoid about the intentions of people and my family..i have a small hand and one of my wrists is thin...recently a friend of mine made a very bad comment while we were eating..he said that i should eat well otherwise my child will be born badly shaped..i just don't understand y he made that comment and i feel like retaliating but i am also aware that i am a bit paranoid and i don't want things to destroy me....can a doctor tell me wat is the best way to deal with this friend .i c him everyday
 Faye Lang, RN, MSW - Mon Jul 19, 2010 6:35 pm

Hello, Shafiq,

I apologize for the lateness of this response to your question. I hope that your situation has been resolved, but I'll provide some information in hope that it will be useful to you and to any others who might read your post.

Friends and family can be thoughtless at times in making what they might consider "helpful" comments. While it's best to ignore them, sometimes it just doesn't seem possible to do so. Each and every one of us has imperfections, whether they are obvious or not to the casual observer, so the person making the comment really is no better off than the one who is the target of the comment. There is an older self-help book that does a nice job of talking about such comments, entitled "Pulling Your Own Strings" by Dr. Wayne Dwyer. "What do you mean?", "Why would you say that?", "That isn't a helpful comment," or "That is rude" are responses to consider, if you can't ignore it and avoid reacting. People who make such rude comments generally do so in order to think themselves better or superior to everyone else. It's a demonstration of their own issues. It doesn't matter if they are family or friends: rude behavior is rude behavior. It's very difficult to not take it personally, since the remark is targeted at you; but the comments really aren't about the target person - they are about the person making the comment and what kind of person he or she is. It's almost always possible to just get up and leave the area, and then do something else to occupy your thoughts.

Good luck to you.

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