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- Tue Mar 29, 2005 3:01 am
Over the last 16 years (of my 16 year life :P ) alot of things have happened, including family break ups, deaths, strange parental behaviour, serious physical injury and alot more.
I have been seeing 2 councellors, who have both referred me on to a psychaiatrist, but i have been told by my doctor to finish the councelling first.
->No sense or "lust" for life. Everything seems monotone. For example, i got a new guitar, but i didn't feel excited in the least.
->A sense of "not really being here" - almost like a disconnection from life. I'm watching a movie in a sense.
-> Concentration levels are zero. I can't concentrate on anything.
->Intelligence: I'm not meaning to show off or anything, i'm just trying to provide a brief picture here. I used to be quite intelligent.. but looking at recent grades, they are dropping considerably. Out of school, in general, I find it hard following what people are saying. I get confused and forget about the subject that they are talking about.
->Social situations. I can't do them very well. I used to look forward to seeing my friends, but now, its like "I cant be bothered." When i am with them, i get a lump in my throaght (sorry about the spelling) and feel like running out of the room crying.
->Eye contact - i suppose this ties in above. Basically i look everywhere except for at the persons eyes. When i force myself to give eye contact, i feel like crying and get a lump in my throaght, or just get a big smile on my face (embarassment im guessing).
->Ability to have emotion - I can cry and feel upset/sorry for myself fine. Happiness, anger and sympathy for others i do not have/cannot do. I havn't felt "happy" for the past couple of years, nor angry. And, when people such as my mum are going through a hard patch, i cant support her. This sounds wierd, but i actually feel good inside knowing that she is upset...
As you can see there is a lot to take in. I havnt told my doctor all of this as i havnt had the time to do so, but he briefly said it had something to do with anxiety... If anybody can clarify what is going on, and, the right treatment that i should go through, it would be greatly appreciated.
- Thu Mar 31, 2005 2:34 am
Thats clinical depression. I have exactly the same thing but i was put on anti-depressents by my doctor which cured me but have lots of bad side effects and when i tried to stop taking them after about 2 years i went back to being depressed even worse. Im now taking them for over 5 years and im going to keep taking them for alot longer to make sure i don't go back to being depressed when i stop.
But the side effects are really bad and i wish i didnt have to take the pills. I have read that a herbal remedy called St. Johns Wart has a strong anti-depresant effect and no side effects so i wish i took that instead of this horrible pills.
Also, excercise is supposed to help ALOT. If i could turn back time i would take that herbal stuff and do excersise every day and im sure that would have fixed my problems. If not the anti-depressants could be a last resort but i just wish i tried the other things first.