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- Wed Jun 30, 2010 6:34 am
As i child my mother & father split up i stayed with my mother up until i was a teenager and imediatly moved in with my father, me & my mother never got on well when i was staying there i think this may have been due to the fact she was re married and other kids, as soon as i moved out we got on so good and still do to this day. My friend died a few year back and the mood swings have got alot worse since then. On the other hand now me and my father argue like mad, i just cant take it any more its all too much. Also me and my boyfriend get on so well, were away on holiday and with no one else there were brill together but as soon as were home it starts again.
I just seem to be really horrible to the people who mean the most and care about me the most, i hate it but cant stop myself from being that way, i know i will end up on my own with no boyfriend if i carry on like this.
People that i don't even know or give the chance to know, i get it in my head that i hate them and their this and that, thats not on at all.
The people who genurally care about me are the ones who get the brunt of my mood swings and then theres the fake friends that i have been warned about over and over but i couldnt be nicer to them, what is my problem? I say the most horrible things to my boyfriend when in one of these moods to the point i cry myself to sleep thinking what have i done, and then in the morning i act as tho nothing has happend expecting everyone to be ok with me.
They walk on egg shells around me, one minute i can be joking and having a laugh the next if i notice somthing like my hairs a mess, or i look fat in what i am wearing i just lose it, then it turns into a mood and then an arguement with the people i love, i just get so irritated easily and it has got to stop !!
| Faye Lang, RN, MSW
- Thu Jul 01, 2010 5:58 pm
What a tormenting situation for you! Your overall description suggests to me that your symptoms developed over time and may be related to abandonment issues, beginning with your parents' divorce. Your mother's remarriage and the resulting family appears to have been a stressor for you. Your relationship with your father deteriorated while you were living with him, which could also be a reaction to having felt abandoned by him. And now it could be that you are afraid of further abandonment, so you drive people away before they can abandon you now. That is somewhat of an oversimplification, but it can be a starting point for you to examine what is happening in your life. I believe it is too much for you to do alone, however. I encourage you to seek professional help to assist you in sorting through it all, as well as to determine if this is indeed what is happening, or if there is something else contributing to your difficulties. If you do not have or want a private therapist, go to your nearest public mental health center. Such agencies usually provide treatment at a cost based on your ability to pay. The level of your unhappiness indicates to me that you would benefit from such help. Please don't hesitate to discuss it with your doctor; he or she can help.
Good luck to you.