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Forum Name: Psychiatric Topics

Question: thoughts feeling foreign, not my own


 tocuhe - Tue Sep 20, 2005 8:10 pm

When I was younger, prolonged reading would cause me to take in all of the words in a altered way, like after a while the words would start to echo slightly in my mind and feel hollow and rubbery and empty and have no resonation in my mind after I processed them, just bounce around slightly in head and go no where. Accompanied with this would be minor headaches covering the whole head, except on the outer parts (i.e. what feels close to skin). In some ways the headaches feels close to dehydration, but I don’t think that’s what this is all about. I stopped having any sensations, but now, years later (I’m about 15 now), all these sensations are coming back, but not just during reading, during every day life. I have had a minor experience everyday for about a week (far more common now then before), and in the past week maybe one or two more intense sensations. They come while I’m doing anything, and bring a slight notion of the thoughts not being my own and in my body I feel less restricted, like my body isn’t mine and I’m rising out of it a little bit.
For the past 7 months I have smoked marijuana everyday, except for the past 2 months, I have been slowing down my consumption amounts on days that I smoke, and only smoking 4 or 5 times a week. This is just because I haven’t been experiencing the same joy from it all, not even just losing the laughter, but the intensified colors are all gone, and this could be because I have only been smoking indica dominate strands, which is a more of a “stone” high. If that has anything to possibly do with what’s going on now, I don’t know, just thought I’d throw it out there…
Any info as to what might be happening to me is greatly appreciated, thanks!
 DeLWolcott - Tue Sep 20, 2005 8:57 pm

First, I'd like to compliment you on your writing skills. Impressive for someone your age.

I'm not sure what to tell you. Your symptoms you describe at your younger age sound to me, in Mom mode, as a highly active - slightly uncontrollable thought process. My son does this (he's 11 now) and it's because he has so many things running through his mind - imagination, invention, dreams, problem solving - getting overwhelmed when there is just too much going through there. I see it as high intelligence because somehow your brain is able to go into a book with a reality to it.

Still in Mom mode, why are you smoking so much? It's good to hear that you are cutting it back, but the long-term effects are being shown to have links to brain damage as a person ages. This time you are going through now of "out-of-body" could be a result of a combination of the marijuana, growing mind and body, and changes in hormones.

All that aside and stepping out of Mom mode, it would be a good idea to talk with a school counselor that you trust, or possibly someone in your church if you have one. They will have a better idea of what your resources are within your community for your concerns; someone or someplace where you can go without having to worry about being immediately labeled. Don't be afraid of a psychologist if it appears that this is a better option.

I wish you the best. These years are difficult. (Yes, I remember them.) Take the knowledge and intelligence you very apparently possess, and begin your future using all you have to its fullest. Treat this situation as you believe an adult would, and the adults around you will be more accepting, doing everything they can to keep you safe.

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