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- Fri Oct 14, 2005 7:30 pm
In highschool I used to use recreational drugs, and about four years ago I tried a hallucinigen for the first time. It was psilocyn mushrooms. The day after I felt incredibly different, and it was like it hadn't worn off. For the next few months I didn't try it again, but I still consumed marijauna regularly, and I would hear voices and feel very agoraphoic. I never really saw anything as I would see a normal object, and I never really had mental visions or anything of that sort, but my vision is dimmed it seems like. I had feelings of disconnection with my body at times as well for a few weeks after.
Anyway, I stopped smoking, and so I didn't hear anything anymore, except indistinguishable noise when I was trying to fall asleep at night sometimes. Since maybe two and a half years ago I haven't had that.
For the year afterward I thought people could hear my thoughts, and so I tried to base my thoughts around not thinking insulting, comprimising things. This seemed to make my thoughts erratic, the pressure I mean, because I started having thoughts that I would be embarrassed to have people hear if it was true they could. They centered around homosexuality, but I think I got the idea to torment myself like that from the sexual abuse earlier in my childhood. So anyway after a year of this I finally got the courage to ask someone if they could indeed, and the courage made me a bit more rational I guess, because decided obviously they couldn't. I haven't been deluded such a way since.
Now my question is what do they consider this? I do not have any of the symptoms like that I would associate with schizophrenia anymore, but I'm aware that other symptoms may include social fears, shyness, bizarre behavior, lack of concentration. I do have these, but I have mostly associated it with general shyness. Should I be looking to this as a possibility as well? I have never been satisfied with my life being shy and everything. If it is because of this then maybe are there ways to help it, which I wouldn't have looked to because I didn't consider the reason?
- Sun Oct 23, 2005 1:55 am
drug induced psychosis' can mimmick the symptoms of schizophrenia,drugs can affect your thinking for a long time after you take them. I suggest you don't do any drugs or the symptoms, hearing voices, delusions,personality change may become permanent.You probably should get help for the sexual abuse as a child. I am so sorry that happened, anyone would need help with that. It is never a childs fault, NEVER!