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Forum Name: Female Sexual Disorders

Question: Tailbone accident connected to sexdrive loss


 lonedenkai - Tue Jan 03, 2006 7:45 pm

I have a girl friend who is 19 who has no sexdrive. When she was 13 she was in a skying accident and doctors neglected to x-ray her entire body. When visiting our chiropractor at age 16 she discovered her tail bone had been broken (she has soreness after sitting for to long). I did some research and found that the tailbone controlls your sexdrive and do not know what i can do to help. Is it to late to fix a tailbone that has been broken for years? Or is there any other way to help her enjoy sex?-Thank you for your time.
 dlugose - Mon Jan 16, 2006 6:16 pm

I think you are describing your problem better than hers. How old are you and how long have you known her? Does she like being affectionate with you, and more important perhaps, do you like being affectionate to her? Take that as having little to do with being sexually aroused.

The tail bone (coccyx) rarely has anything to do with sex, and never anything to do with sex drive. If you had a high sex drive the worst coccyx pain could do is distract you, or frustrate you, but you would find something else to do sexual that did not aggravate the pain. The coccyx is unlikely to be damaged severely enough to make surgery helpful after years.

I suggest you take the most interest in the forms of interest that she shows in you, and how she expresses them. She would not likely say she has no sex drive. Not being interested at any time is not the same as having no drive. Be a better listener, and try to understand a) if she thinks she has any problem at all, and how she describes it, b) what her priorities are in how the two of you express your feelings towards each other, and c) if she likes touching and being touched, find out most about where and how and when she wants to be touched. You have much more to learn about her and her mind than her tailbone.

If you think I am way off on my guesses, then describe more about how she describes the problem.
 lonedenkai - Mon Jan 23, 2006 7:54 pm

Actually your way off. I can see how you might chalk me up for some horrney guy but we have been seening each other for two years. In the beginning she was very sexual and we were very sexually. She gets "horrny" but when we have sex she says she cant feel anything. This is the reason she can orgasm. And since she can't feel anythin shes lost all interest in sex. What could cause this lack of feeling? (for the record im a very good listener, never pressure for sex and find my self to large enough).
 dlugose - Mon Jan 23, 2006 8:54 pm

Sorry I misjudged you. It is important that you say that "She gets "horrny" but when we have sex she says she cant feel anything." It sounds like her sex drive works, but since she can't satisfy it due to lack of feeling, she has given up. I think whoever sees her for gyn exams should consider referring her to a neurologist to see if there was any correctable damage to a nerve that leaves the spine just above the coccyx. The pudendal nerve is one of these, and it is involved with feeling in the area of the clitoris and vagina. Surgery on or near the spine can be complicated. Some people instead see a chiropractor who may have a non-surgical way of restoring function of nerves. If masturbation feels good, then the nerves probably don't have a problem, and she could teach you more about what feels good.

There are various related conditions, none of which I am expert on, but you might want to read about them:
http://www.ppodsyndrome.com/
http://www.caudaequina.org/definition.html

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