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Date of last update: 10/16/2017.

Forum Name: Fertility

Question: I cant handle the pressure of trying to conceive

 baby crazi - Tue Feb 07, 2006 12:11 am

I am 22years old and have been trying to conceive with my husband for over a year.
I am not on any medication and have not been since I can remember.
There has been no history of infertility in my family.
I have been taking Blackmores folic acid tablets.
My friend is getting married this year and has been talking about having a baby for the last coupke of weeks. She is excited, however it breaks my heart to think that she might conceive straight away while I have been trying for soo long.
I get very emotional on and off and get depressed when I get my period.
The last week I have been very emotional and depressed and have been snapping at me husband for no reason.
Its even worse when he asks me if im serious when I tell him I got my period.
A baby is something we both cannot wait to have.
I am very jealous when I hear of people conceiving without trying/accidental pregnancies.
To make it worse I work with baby furniture and see pregnant mums and new borns everyday.
It breaks my heart to see so many pregnant mums everyday, I look at them and wish that was me.
My husband and I have been keeping this a secret all this time and I really cant handle the pressure.
I really want to try Ovulex as it is a natural fertility aid for women, though my husband wants me to wait a little longer to see if we can conceive on our own. He doesnt think there is anything wrong with it taking this long to conceive. He thinks we can do it on our own without any help, but I cant help but wonder how long it would take if we didnt get any help.
I am worried that I will never have a baby, something that I want more than anything else in this world.
Any advice would be soo very much appreciated. I am desperate at the moment with no one to talk to. Please help me.
Thank you.
 Shana Johnson, CNA - Tue Feb 07, 2006 6:19 am

User avatar Hello, Im very sorry your going through this, hopefulyl I can offer a little help.

First of all, stress can have a harsh effect on your periods, and the ability to concieve. The more you worry abotu becommign pregnantt, the harder it can become. Have you ever heard of a couple trying to concieve a child for years without sucess, so they decide to adopt, only to become pregnant right after? The stress of having a child is removed, and concieving happens naturally, often without trying.

So, my first suggestion is try not to let it stress you out to much. I know this is much easier said than done, but it is important.

Second, you should make an appointment with your doctor, tell him your trying to become pregnant, and want checked out to make sure everything is working ok. You did not mention if yoru periods were regular or not. You may want to get on birth control for a few months to regulate your periods if they are irregular, that will help with concieving.It also may be a good idea to have your husband checked out to make sure his sperm is in good shape, he may have a low count, or they may be bad swimmers.
If everything checks out healthy, then try charting your cycles for a few months, so you know when you are most fertile and can plan sex accordingly.

Hopefully, knowing you are on the right tract will remove some of the stress, and you will become pregnant without to much effort or worry.
 baby crazi - Tue Feb 07, 2006 5:28 pm

In 2004 my period from what i can remember was quite regular.
In Jan, Feb, March and April i got my period every 4th tuesday and think it used to be the same in 2004.
We started trying in December 2004.
In December 2004 my cycle was 28 days
Jan was 28 days
Feb was 28 days
March was 30
April was 30
May was 27
June was 29
July was 33
August was 27
Sept was 28
October was 30
November was 29
December was 31
and last month was 32

May was the 1st time i didnt get my period on the tuesday, i got it on the thursday and i thought i was pregnant.
I don't know why all of a sudden my period changed.
It didnt seem to matter how many days it went for it just always came on the 4th tuesday.

Can you help me with the days that i have given you?
I have used maby baby ovulation stick and i have a ovulation thermometre.

Last night my husband and i decided that we will try ovulex next month. But we wont order it until i get my next period.
Do you think this is a good idea? have you heard much about ovulex?? do you think i would be waisting my money??

Do you think it could have anything to do with us not having sex at the right times???
We normally have sex 12 to 15 days from my period and all throughout the month. When ever we can/ have energy.
We have sex pretty much every second day if we don't have it everyday and the latest we wait is every 3rd day, which isnt much.

I am worried about going to the doctors, because i know people are very judgemental and i am worried that they will tell me not to worry because i am very young.
Although my husband is 27 he is not so young to be a father.
I am also scared that they will tell me that i wont be able to have babies, or my husband for that matter.

Please tell me what you think, thank you soo much Gracie01.
I really do appreciate your help.
are you a real nurse??
Thank you.
 Shana Johnson, CNA - Tue Feb 07, 2006 6:57 pm

User avatar There is a website called mymonthlycycles, you can put in all your menstration dates, and it will tell you when to expect your next period, and when you ovulate. Use this in conjunction with the ovulation sticks, and you should have a good idea of when you are oulating. When you know when you ovualte, you can start having sex on your fertile days. Have sex every other day during your fertile time, that way you have a fresh supply of sperm.

Don't worry about going to the doctor, tell him you have been trying for over a year, and want checked out to make sure everything is healthy, like I said, your husband may have low sperm count or something. If you get a doctor that is judgemental or tells you not to worry, just find another one who treats you right and takes you seriously. I understand you are scared he may tell you you cannot have children, but it is important to discover what is wrong, if anything, so that you can correct the problem.

About ovulex, I havent heard anything about it, but I have read up on it, and it lenghtens your ovulation cycle, reduces stress, and balances your menstrual cycle to increases your chances of becomming pregnant. I havent been able to find any side effeects of taking it, however, I wonder about the safety of the baby if you were to become pregnant while taking ovulex.
I would highly recommend that you talk to a doctor first, and ask him about the safety of taking it before starting ovulex.

Good luck, any more questions, I would be happy to answer.
 baby crazi - Wed Feb 08, 2006 2:51 am

Hi Gracie,
When you say that you wonder abut how safe ovulex is for the baby, Are you worried that i might have a baby with health problems if i conceive with ovulex?
 baby crazi - Wed Feb 08, 2006 4:01 am

Hi again,
Have you heard of amberoz? and what do you think of that??
Also, do you think my problem with conceiving could have anything to do with my diet?
I have not been eating all that well, I am not over weight though.
I eat alot of take out and frozen meals due to work hours.
Could this be affecting the situation?
 Shana Johnson, CNA - Wed Feb 08, 2006 6:52 pm

User avatar Hello again,
When I said I wondered about the safety of Ovulex for the baby, I meant, if you concieved while using it, you would continue to take ovulex for a few weeks after concieving because you would not have known you concieved that time. Although it is all natural, some herbs can be harmful to the fetus.Companies promote all natural remedies, and people think because it says all natural that means it is completly safe, and that is not the case.Ovulex has ginsing in it, which is a stimulant, but I do not know if that can be harmful to a developing fetus or not. Personally, I am not a fan of taking any natural remedies without a doctors approval first to be sure of the safety of the drug, espicially in the case of a developing fetus. Also, Im not even sure how well this would actually work, if it would help at all

As far as Amberoz, it strenghtens sexual arousal, helps the body eliminate toxins and claims to strenghten the sperm. Im not sure how true either ovulex or amberoz would actually work, Im having a bit of trouble finding realible information about either of these. I don't think it would hurt to try amberoz, but, that would only work if the problem was your husbands sperm, and since you havent seen a doctor yet, he may or may not be the problem.

So, I still say the first order of business to
becomming pregnant is seeing a doctor to make sure both of you are healthy, PLEASE don't be scared to find out you are not able to have children, some couples just take longer than others, and if it is the case that one of you has a problem, it would be better to find this out now, and take the steps to fix the problem now.

As for you diet, it would be benificial to begin eating healthy now, because you will need a healthy body to grow a healthy baby, once you are pregnant you will need to start eating healthy. It would be a good idea to eat right now, try to exercise a little, make sure you are taking a multivitamin, and folic acid suppliment. The healthier your body is, the easier it will be to concieve.

But first, you need to make an appt. with your gynecologist to make sure your body is in the best shape to get pregnant.

Good luck.
 baby crazi - Fri Feb 10, 2006 4:03 am

Do you know if i can just go to my local doctore to be tested??
 Shana Johnson, CNA - Fri Feb 10, 2006 4:19 am

User avatar Well, you should go to your gynecologist. He will examine you and make sure everything checks out. Also, have your husband see the doctor as well and have his sperm tested.

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