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Date of last update: 10/16/2017.

Forum Name: Male Sexual Disorders

Question: spouce cannot ejaculate

 cinnamon288 - Thu Jan 25, 2007 11:31 pm

I am a 19 year old female and my husband is 20 and married for 1 year. Neither one of us are on medication and do not do drugs. We are frustrated by a serious problem....I am not husband has sex with me for 3 hours before he can ejaculate. This becomes very painful to me after about 20 minutes but I want to please him. We both get frustrated and I feel like I am not turning him on...we have tried everything. I am an attractive woman 100 lbs and he is very attractive also. I feel bad and he feels bad because he is making me feel bad. He said he has always been like this. When we first got married it took him 45 minutes to ejaculate. He said he only masterbates when I don't have sex with him.......and after a three hour session I cannot do it for a week because it is so uncomfortable. My mother suggested going to a doctor but he will not because he said nothing is wrong with him...he is just a manly man.
I did speak to his mother about this problem and she told me his father was the same way and now they are in their late 40's and it takes him an hour. We love each other very much but I really need help. Thank you very much
 Dr. Safaa Mahmoud - Wed Jan 31, 2007 4:12 pm

User avatar Hello,

This condition is not uncommon and is due to a psychological factor in most of cases.

These factors include:
- For example conditioning caused by certain sexual or masturbation patterns.
- Traumatic experiences that occurred during having sex or masturbation (being discovered).
- Some emotional problems with the other partner like anger or being occupied (mentally during the act) by how to satisfy the other partner or him self.
- Some organic (physical )problems are involved.
-Some neurological disorders or systemic disease like DM may cause simialr problem.
- Certain drug intake delay ejaculating.
- A strict religious or cultural rules and lack of sexual attraction to the other partner.

I advise yo to convince him seek direct medical consultation. Make him understand how much you want to make this marriage in its perfect form and to tighten your relationship.

Best regards.
 LisaMay - Sun Jul 08, 2007 3:08 am

I have almost the same problem with my husbant. We have talked and talked about it .. we have tried to understand if there are any kind of other problems between us but we couldn't find anything else. He says that the actual intercouse begins he slowly loses any feeling in the penis (it becomes numb) and he becomes easily distracted by noices, heat, smells ...He says that most of the times the masturbation is not good at all. He feels the urge to do it (very often) but he has to touch the penis some particular way otherwise it doesn't work. I'm a very attractive woman (I used to be a model) and I asked him if HE finds me atractive and he said he thinks I am very beautiful but not sexy... it didn't help at all.. it just made me feel very unsecure. But in the same time everytime he touches me he becomes quickly aroused...he is always hugging and carresing me...The question is how can I approach this problem without putting more pressure on him? Is it possible that it is my fault? I so, is there anything I can do? I apologize for my long message ... but I really need an answer because I cann't afford all the medical and psychological investigation and I want to know which is the most probable cause in order to start there. Thank you so much for your response!

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