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Date of last update: 10/16/2017.

Forum Name: Male Sexual Disorders

Question: Arousal Issue

 goldyguy - Mon Feb 19, 2007 12:58 am


I'm a male, 22. I've always had an issue achieving an erection 'in the heat of the moment' with potential sexual partners. This has occurred several times. I've never had an issue achieving an erection for the purpose of masturbation, and I used to masturbate on a daily basis. Thinking my daily masturbation could be a reason, I stopped and started waiting a up to a week between these sessions. Nevertheless I'm still having problems getting an erection with a partner.

I've never thought much of it or put a lot of pressure on myself during these moments until lately, when I found someone I'm really happy with. When we hold each other and kiss, I don't get anything out of it 'under the sheets,' so to say. I've always had the impression that a person should be completely turned on by then, and since I'm not, I try to get out of the situation so I don't take it to the next level and fail. I'm also not easily aroused at any given moment in the day when I become flirtatious with coworkers, etc. This occurs outside the bedroom as well.

Is it possible that I have a physical arousal issue? And if this is psychological issue what can I do about it? I'm only 22 and in the early stages of a relationship, talking about it would most likely hinder the situation than improve upon it.

Thanks for your time.
 Dr. Chan Lowe - Wed Mar 21, 2007 5:20 pm

User avatar Given that you are able to obtain an erection during masterbation it is unlikely that you have a physical problem. You are very likely experiencing a psychological issue. Psychological issues can be very powerful.

You may want to find a counselor to discuss/investigate this issue with. Counselors can be quite helpful with issues like these.

Best wishes.
 User#5485 - Wed Mar 28, 2007 4:08 pm

Hi. I have a similar problem. I'm 18, a guy, on ritalin, and none of the other stuff on the list applies here.

I think I have a problem with my erections, but I don't know since I don't know what normal is. I used to jerk off alot until I started having lower back pains. I did some internet research on it, it said that that was a result of over masturbation, so I dropped it down to once every other day, and I've been doing that ever since. But I get this nagging suspicion that it's not good enough.

When I watch porn and don't use my hands I start to grow to about 4 inches or so, but I start hardening up there. It gets thick and dense. If I use my hands I can get a full erection, but the outer parts of it feel insubstantial, like I don't have enough muscle to go to the outer reigons of my dick. I'm also aware that there's a slight downward cuve to my erection, starting at an inch or two up from the base. Also, if I jerk off too quickly, the muscle doesn't spread out quickly enough and I get some parts weighing more than others, making it very irregular.

What do you suggest? I don't have the money for pills, nor do I want anyone knowing about this thing, so that means no doctors or expensive drugs.

Thank you.
 Dr. Chan Lowe - Sat Mar 31, 2007 12:08 am

User avatar It is difficult to say for sure but it is possible that your erections are normal.

It is also possible that you are reaching climax too quickly and your penis does not have enough time to reach full erection.

If this is causing you problems I would recommend you see a urologist.

Best wishes.
 User#5485 - Sun Apr 01, 2007 1:47 pm

I can't afford to see a urologist, is there any place where I can talk to one/get a diagnosis without seeing one?

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