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Date of last update: 10/16/2017.

Forum Name: Female Sexual Disorders

Question: NO sex drive - ovarian cyst

 CandiR - Wed Mar 07, 2007 1:56 pm

I am 19 yrs old I have an 18 month old little boy and a 22 yr old Fiancee'. We haev been together for 4 years now. So we are very serious. When we first met We were having sex all the time maybe twice a day. And as time went by I have NO sex drive... In fact I have to fake orgams with him because I can't get one by him.. But my main concern is I have an ovarian cyst.. I don't know the dimations off hand.. but It has been there since my son was born adn I knwo this because Sex is not only very painfull but it has gottne to the point where I'd rather just not do it at all.. No kissing no sexual touching no oral.. I just haev no sex drive.. I have been sexually abused several times as a young kid and don't remeber any of it.. So I really don't think that is the problem.. But I have talked to my doctor about it and he said just fake it until you can make it.. I am tired of faking it though.. I want to be able to haev a wild and crazy sex life with the man I love.. I am only 19 so not being able to want to have sex it horrible..I want to try something maybe hormones to make me want to do it.. give me some desire some libido.. something!!!! I am not on any medications.. My family history I am not sure about I am adopted... Please help me out! I want to be able to please me man and give him some... I haev talked to the doctors about surgical removal of my cyst and maybe that would help with the pain of intercourse and the akwardness of it but they wont do that.. They said it is pretty big but hopefyully it willgo away on its own.. I am not even on birth conrtol. Not having a sex life has really put a damper on my relationship.. lease just help me out I want to want to have sex!
 Dr. Chan Lowe - Wed Mar 07, 2007 3:59 pm

User avatar What you are experiencing is actually a somewhat common issue for women. There is a syndrome known as Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder.

In your case there may be several possible causes. It is likely that your symptoms are due to a combination of causes. First, you may actually be underplaying your past a little. Sexual abuse can have a huge impact on your mind, even if you don't remember the exact details. If you truly have forgotten all the details then they really are unlikely to hurt much; however, I find that most people haven't really forgotten their abuse, they've more repressed it so as to try to stop the hurt. I would recommend that you consider seeing a counselor to explore this.

Also, pain during intercourse is a definite way to decrease desire. Your ovarian cyst may be causing you some pain, or you may not have sufficient lubrication due to lack of desire. Regarding the cyst, there are a few things that can be done. Ultimately, if it fails to resolve surgery can remove it. Before surgery, most gynecologists will recommend a three to six month trial of oral contraceptives to "take over" the hormonal axis. This often will result in the cyst resolving or at least significantly shrinking. You can discuss treatment options with your gynecologist.

Also, the stress of the entire situation can add to decreased desire. Fear/expectancy of failure to enjoy sex and concerns about not pleasing your partner can all add in to this.

The sum total of all of these things is likely causing much of your symptoms. I woud recommend that you discuss your situation with your gynecologist. I am not familiar with libido stimulating medications if they exist, but your gynecologist would know.

Also, have you discussed the issue with your fiance? This can take some of the burden off your shoulders to simply unload the secret.

Hope this helps some.

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