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Date of last update: 10/16/2017.

Forum Name: Female Sexual Disorders

Question: loss of sex drive

 silverado - Fri Jul 09, 2004 8:05 pm

I am a 48 yr old woman and I have lost urges of having sex. I've been married for 5 yrs and have only been with 4 men within my lifetime. During breakups between these relationships, I would not indulge in sex for 2 yrs or more. Now that I am married, I would like to please my husband at his every whelm but it isn't happening. I've tried different things to try to become aroused but nothing seems to work. I don't know if I'm going through the change in life or what. But on the news the other day, I saw something about a patch that will help arousement. What do you know about this and what would you recommend?
 Dr. Tamer Fouad - Sun Jul 11, 2004 5:08 pm

User avatar Dear silverado,
Loss of sex drive can be due to many causes. Some are psychological such as marital problems, power struggles; others are physical such as heart disease, or any other disabling disease. Some medications may also lead to low sex drive (antidepressants). Reduced estrogen to postmenopausal levels can lead to dryness of the vagina making sex painful. Another cause may be reduced testosterone levels. It has been argued that increasing testosterone levels even in those without low levels may also serve to increase sex drive. Another hormone currently under study is MSH (melanocyte stimulating hormone). It has been proposed to be a cause for the increased sex drive experienced in women at the time of ovulation. A recent study on female rats has just been published and shows favorable results. However, the drug is still in the preclincal testing phase and it will be a long time before we see it on the market (if it ever makes it).

The patch you are talking about is a testosterone patch. Although not yet approved by the FDA, a recent study showed some very promising results. Indeed, 50% of women receiving the patch showed a significant increase in sex drive as opposed to those receiving a placebo. The study only included women with low sex drive due to surgically induced menopause. They all had a condition called hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD). This is a very significant result for a disease which previously had no treatment.

It should be noted however, that testosterone therapy in women is associated with several unfavorable side effects, of which the most disturbing is increased body hair.

On different tone: your profile is quite alarming with 13 of your aunts having a history of breast cancer? If this is the case then you should seek genetic counsuling. Specifically, you and any daughters you may have should test for the BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes.

Best regards.
 ufordranger2 - Sun Aug 21, 2005 4:59 pm

To whom it may concern.
I'm A 47 yr old women who use to have a good sexual drive.3yrs ago I suffer from vertigo,and got put on antidepressions.back then I got put on paxil. I do remember shortly after that I had no sex drive.and its gotton worse as the yrs gone by.Some doctors say now I'm going threw monopause.pre-mental ,You know I have been to about 100 or more doctors in the last 3yrs.One doctor said they couldn't help me because I'm a smoking .but I have heard you still and know many of people who smoke and still get help .I have a friend who is being treated for menopause. She uses the patches.I'm in a relationship for the last 6yrs.First 2 yrs were super.Now it stinks.The other half is always telling me maybe he should go fine someone else.and that really hurts. more then you know.If any suggestions or helpful tips.Please tell me.One more thing .My other half takes antipressions too.but his sex drive is so high.Whats the differents.

 blessed01 - Thu Sep 01, 2005 4:36 pm

:cry: I am 27 and I have a 3 1/2 yr old! My husband and I where really active before my daughter! But ever since I had her my sex drive is very little! I use very"freaky" and lover to try things! Now I really don't' get in the mood! I gained alot of weight with my daughter, and now I'm about 35 lbs over weight! What should I do? I'm having a hard time loosing the weight. Before my daughter I was about size 5 now I'm about 10! My weight goes up and down! Can you help me?
 ASIA1998 - Thu Oct 13, 2005 1:14 pm

I get were i hate sex but i think it because of my stepdaugther .Because i am always stress out beause of her. She gets under my skin all the time and her dad does not do anything to help out my life is a living hell. We can go mouths with out sex maybe longer. :cry:
 ASIA1998 - Thu Oct 13, 2005 1:21 pm

I stay sick all the time because of my stepdaughter and i don't have sex anymore because of her. :cry:
 help30 - Sun Nov 06, 2005 10:08 pm

I also need help and answers. I am 30 years old and just had my second baby 11 weeks ago. I have no interest in sex and it bothers me when my husband wants to have sex and I am not into it. I never used to be like this. I am not back on birth control yet, because I have not gotten my period yet. Why is my body doing this to me and what can I do to get my sex drive back.

I don't want this to hurt my marriage and it makes me upset that my body is this way.

Please Help!!!
 babytrudy - Mon Aug 06, 2007 12:52 pm

I am 50 years old and only been married a few years. I am female and cannot stand to have sex. I really want to have the desire. I do not take any medication. Is there anything over the counter or natural that I can use to help? I feel fine other than the symptoms of Lupus.
 Debbie Miller, RN - Mon Aug 06, 2007 4:36 pm

User avatar I am not familiar with anything that has been proven to be helpful as a natural aphrodisiac. You could be experiencing hormonal changes that contribute to this problem. If I were you I would seek the advice of a gynecologist to see if something can help. You also may benefit from psychological counseling or therapy since emotional and marital issues can contribute in a major way to this problem. You may actually have multiple factors that could be diminishing your drive.

If your libido has always been quite depressed it is a different issue than a recent change in your desire. This is information to share with your doctor or therapist. There are also certified sex therapists who deal with such issues but be sure you get a good recommendation as there are also people of questionable training and experience in the field. Your own moral and religious values can come into play here as well.
 gagandsm - Tue Dec 08, 2009 5:18 pm

Hi we have been married from past 5 years and as a couple we have problems on bed.
from the day 1 my wife had problems with wetness in her virginal, post consultation to a doctor she was suggested KY jelly to use as a substitute not reamed.

We tried all the things that could be done in theirs of foreplay G Spot Stimulation Citreous Stimulation and so on. she does reaches orgasm but that to it takes like 30 minutes or so.

She has always had very low interest in Sex

could you suggest something that would help her getting wet and more exited towards sex life?

I have heard of Women Viagra & Himalayan Nigra.

do these exist in India? what else can we use?

We already have a Baby of 3 Years old so she has already gone through a total change over in terms of Changes

As per all the Doctors she is perfectly normal and this is normal on most of the women. But this is creating problems in our life as I have very high sex drive and she loses interest due to her problems



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