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Date of last update: 10/16/2017.

Forum Name: Male Sexual Disorders

Question: I Cant/don't Ejaculate During Intercourse

 2424yankees1 - Mon Aug 06, 2007 6:56 pm


I have a problem that i really need help with and till now i've kinda dodged it, but i have recently been with a girl that i really like and i lost her b/c of it and i'm hoping i can get her back if i can solve it..all. but any advice u can give me or what u think would b greatly appreciated: I'm a 28yr old male and have been masterbating for well over 15yrs now. i was able to ejaculate during intercourse for many yrs until i was about 23 i can have sex for hrs and wont ejaculate, only if i masterbate, i will admit i used to masterbate on an average of one plus times a day sometimes even 5+ times a day. ive never masterbated on my stomach so i don't think i have tms. my ex g/f was getting extremely / is upset that i will only ejaculate by masterbation and i want to be able to do so from intercourse. i have been masterbating in front of her after she orgasms so i can ejaculate and feel good as she does.. i have also had sex on pretty regular basis since 23 and the ejaculating from intercourse stopped happening. i have always masterbated without lotion/lubricant and have "cut" or made my skin of my penis hurt at times from doing so to much. so i have cut down alot on masterbation to a few times a week except after intercourse with her, and with her watching. do u think i have a mental/emotional problem or should i stop masterbating permanetly as well and maybe i will ejaculate? she says that shes thinks i think about it to much and don't relax enough to let it happen, or i myself am worried that ive damaged the sensation in my penis to where the grip i use is the only thing that is good enough to make it happen. please i want to solve this so any help u can give would be great, I look forward to hearing from someone and must say this website is great im glad i found it, ohh and if u think that i need consultation what kind of doctor should i see?

Thanks Again!
 Debbie Miller, RN - Fri Aug 10, 2007 12:40 pm

User avatar You could consult with a urologist to check out any physical concerns, but I suspect this is emotional in nature. I believe this excessive masturbation can have a negative effect on your sexual relationship. It can become an addiction so I would recommend trying to break yourself of this habit. You may try addiction recovery support groups as stopping could be difficult but the characteristics and steps needed are quite similar in any addiction.

If pornography is part of your experience, that can also negatively affect your sex life with a woman. Porn is truly fiction - it is fake, false and meaningless, but very addictive and it requires more and more to be arousing to you. This can make it difficult to function in a real and less-than perfect relationship.

I think you already know what you can do to help this but are reluctant to give up something that feels good to you. Again, this is indicative of an addiction. Good luck with this herculean effort. It is possible and it just might make the difference.

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