Medical Specialty >> Reproductive Medicine

Doctors Lounge - Reproductive Medicine Answers

Back to Reproductive Medicine Answers List

If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or 911 immediately. Doctors Lounge (www.doctorslounge.com) does not recommend or endorse any specific tests, physicians, products, procedures, opinions, or other information that may be mentioned on the Site.

DISCLAIMER: The information provided on www.doctorslounge.com is designed to support, not replace, the relationship that exists between a patient/site visitor and his/her physician. Please read our 'Terms and Conditions of Use' carefully before using this site.

Date of last update: 10/16/2017.

Forum Name: Male Sexual Disorders

Question: Ejaculation During Just Kissing With No Feeling of Orgasm


 berzerker4 - Sat Dec 29, 2007 6:19 pm

I'm an 18 year old male, i am physically active, i masturbate 5-7 times a week, and have a healthy social life including a girlfriend of about 10 months. I am my girlfriends first boyfriend, she is not my first girlfriend, so the physical relationship is extremely limited-- i have fingered her 3 times, she has tried to give me a hand job once (i will get to that later). I'm very attracted to her as she is to me, she is just very shy about physically progressing, but now that we are starting to speed up i have a concern.

For some reason when we just make out (open mouth kiss), whether only for a minute, i get an erection. It is not always rock hard but pretty substantial most of the time. I have tried to mentally block this but the best i can do usually is keep it down a little bit and only for a while. Usually when we hang out we play games and sometimes just looking at her (as i am very attracted) i can slightly get a boner but that is no big deal. However we usually find time right before she has to go home to make out for a while, and then i get up and walk her out. When we make out though, even if i'm not thinking about sex or feeling her or her even rubbing up against my penis, i get an erection which i cant mentally subdue until we are done kissing, and when she leaves i check my pants and there are always semen spots, sometimes leaking all the way through jeans. This happens without exception if we make out for 5-10 minutes straight or more, and is highly embarassing. I get no feeling of orgasm, and cant feel it coming out at the time. The one time she tried to give me a hand job i had already came a little bit from making out, and i was hard enough for her to work with but not as hard as possible, and she treid for 35 minutes and i didnt reach climax, and barely felt close (though this was her first try, she sucked at it, maybe if she was better it would've worked but idk for sure). This is horrifying to me because if i cum (with no orgasm) after just making out for 10 minutes, how am i ever supposed to cum when she is helping me? I think that i still have enough erectile strength to have intercourse, but I have a feeling i would not be able to climax, and I know if she only uses her hand and this problem persists, i wont be able to at all. This is embarassing, and i basically would liek to know what may have caused this and how i could control it.

If it is of any consequence, my first gf played alot of mind games with me and kind of gave me trust issues (i trust girls until we get extremely intimate and then i always have suspicions for sometimes the stupidest reasons). I don't remember having this problem with her or a few other girls, but the girl i was involved with immediately before my gf i remember getting large erections from making out but can't remember if it resulted in the same sort of ejaculation.
 Debbie Miller, RN - Wed Jan 02, 2008 10:02 am

User avatar Everything you have described sounds perfectly normal. Experienced as you are in masturbation, you know how to stimulate yourself. It will take time, patience and a good relationship to achieve what you seek in a satisfying sex life with her. Most couples require time to get this going. The closeness you feel is the most important thing and the rest will likely come naturally. I certainly would not be distressed over this now or make it into something big. Leaking with stimulation (mental or physical) is also very normal at your age. Of course this is why the withdrawal method of birth control is not reliable.

Your trust issues will also likely improve as you grow closer. And if you don't, then it will likely improve with another relationship.

Best wishes.

| Check a doctor's response to similar questions

Are you a Doctor, Pharmacist, PA or a Nurse?

Join the Doctors Lounge online medical community

  • Editorial activities: Publish, peer review, edit online articles.

  • Ask a Doctor Teams: Respond to patient questions and discuss challenging presentations with other members.

Doctors Lounge Membership Application

Tools & Services: Follow DoctorsLounge on Twitter Follow us on Twitter | RSS News | Newsletter | Contact us