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Date of last update: 10/16/2017.

Forum Name: Fertility

Question: Safe Zone in Menstrual Cycle

 aaziz - Tue Feb 26, 2008 4:12 am

Hello - I just hope this does not only get read, but also gets me sound advice! I am a 28yr old asian woman (we evidently have a tendency to conceive at the drop of a hat!!) - my fiance and i are sexually involved -althu on a sporadic basis seeing as i travel for work as does he. If we are lucky, we get to be together 2/3 months in a month.
We plan on getting married by July this year and till then (and for a year or so over) we don't plan on parenthood.
My concerns have recently been heightened with working out when its safe for us to have sex without fear of my getting pregnant. Yes, the asian society is very conservative about shotgun weddings!
My periods were fairly regular. I did have 35-40day cycles in my late teens but for the past 2/3 years ive been rather regular in so far as my dates are concerned.
Brief history of my period dates/cycle:
4th November 2007
3rd December 2007
1st January 2008
Each period lasts 4 days - i go heavy on the first and second days. Start slowing down by evening of 3rd day and by 4th im either all clear or very slightly on the rag.

Now - in january 2008, my fiance was in town and the two of us had just one night to be together. The nite of 5/6th Jan.
We got busy.
He doesnt wear condoms. (He cant perform with them - actually cant.)
I am on no contraceptive plan. The pill scares me. I already have heavy hips. And the side-effect indicating pills increasing hip-width, weight and hair growth has put me off the idea of touching the pill!
Normally he doesn't ejaculate in me, but this night i asked him too - reckoning i was so within my safe zone seeing as i had just finished my period a day before.

To still play safe, i took the morning-after/emergency pill the following day.

And then my period disappeared! I went thru so many home-pregnancy kits!!

And then i got my period on the 13th of Feb'08.

Stretching my normally one month cycle to a 44day cycle.

Freak incident? Stress? (I lost my father in has been busy...and to lose myself into sheer exhaustion so i can sleep, i go for an intense workout everyday of the week)

Whatever the reason - i don't want a repeat performance of anxiety levels that we both touched caused by the delay in my period.

Henceforth - when are safe zones? If i want to be with him this weekend, am i pushing my luck?

I will be so grateful if i could be taken through this zoning crisis!

Look forward to any input!
 Debbie Miller, RN - Tue Feb 26, 2008 8:07 pm

User avatar Hello,
If you and your fiance are both agreeable you could be a candidate for Cycle Beads. This is a natural family planning method that is quite reliable for women with normal periods and who are in a relationship where both parties have good self control and are committed.

The days 8 through 19 (start counting on the first day of your period) are considered "unsafe" or likely fertile days. What this means is that you are likely to ovulate sometime during those days but nobody knows exactly which so if you have sexual intercourse during these days it would be wise to use some form of birth control. You might consider a diaphram or spermacidal jelly at least if you are opposed to other methods.

The "beads" can be purchased very reasonably and are used as a visual guide to fertile days so you keep them at your bedside and move a little ring along the beads each day to remind you which day you are on your cycle. These are available on the internet. The success rate here is actually quite comparable to other methods.

Likely your period was messed up due to the high concentration of hormones in "plan B" or emergency contraception. You may want to consider taking the pill. There are many formulations and side effects can be very minimal. An IUD is another option since you plan on waiting a while to start a family.

Good luck.

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