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Date of last update: 10/16/2017.

Forum Name: Fertility

Question: Will Constantly Stopping Before Orgasm Hurt Him?


 Questioning21 - Sun Sep 07, 2008 6:32 pm

Sorry to post a second question, but I'm worried about this, too.

My boyfriend and I have decided not to have sex yet, so we hump in bed while we both are wearing boxers or underwear. He knows that I am uncomfortable with him ejaculating (since it is messy), so he refuses to "go all the way" unless he is really hurting and needs to. I've tried to convince him that he should go all the way if he thinks he's going to hurt at all the next day (or if he is hurting then), but he refuses, dealing with any pain that is not extreme. He once mentioned that he had visible blue balls, but went to bed instead of going all the way. It's extremely sweet, but it makes me worried.

My question is this: Is this going to hurt him? Will it cause him to have a low sperm count or ED or any other issues in the future? This last run lasted about two weeks when he never ejaculated, though we had been sexually active (humping) every night for about a week and a half. He pulls off when he feels as though he is getting to a point where he wouldn't be able to stop in time, but sometimes that stopping really hurts him, too.

So is there anything I need to know? He really wants to make sure I'm comfortable, so he tries his hardest to hold off (and does very well, it seems), but if this is going to hurt him in the future, I want to know so I can tell him and make sure that he's going all the way so he can protect himself for the future.

Please let me know, and thank you so much.
 Debbie Miller, RN - Wed Sep 10, 2008 9:27 pm

User avatar Hello,
I would not expect any long term harm here. Psychologically, what you are doing is going to make it increasingly difficult for him so if you are choosing abstinence you may wish to avoid this activity. There is no long-term harm in waiting for sex altogether.

Best wishes
 Questioning21 - Thu Sep 11, 2008 6:00 pm

Hi--

I'm sorry, I'm not quite sure what you mean by "what you are doing is going to make it increasingly difficult for him." Do you mean that stopping before orgasm will get harder and harder to do? (When he can't hold off anymore, he does go all the way, and then the cycle starts again until he can't hold off anymore again.) Or that humping will make it more difficult to have sex? I'm not sure what "what you are doing" is, and what is the "it" in "make it increasingly difficult."

Please let me know, and thank you very much for your response!

Hello,
I would not expect any long term harm here. Psychologically, what you are doing is going to make it increasingly difficult for him so if you are choosing abstinence you may wish to avoid this activity. There is no long-term harm in waiting for sex altogether.

Best wishes
 Debbie Miller, RN - Thu Sep 18, 2008 3:49 pm

User avatar Hello,
I'm sorry that was ambiguous. I meant that this type of sexual activity (stopping before orgasm) is likely to be frustrating for him; not physically harmful. It is no likely to affect sexual function in any way. It will not affect sperm count either as sperm are continually produced throughout a man's life. Women have all the eggs they will ever have all at once but men are different that way.

I hope this helps.

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