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Date of last update: 10/16/2017.

Forum Name: Fertility

Question: 20 and unable to have children

 atreyin88 - Tue Nov 11, 2008 6:42 pm

I'm almost 21 years old and I have been with 29 partners (all male). Many of these partners have been unprotected or were relationships where we didn't use protection any longer. I can't take birth control due to family history of it's usage (all the women in my family have taken it, all have had blood clots due to taking it) and I'm not willing to risk it. I have been tested and know I am clean from disease; but what bugs me is that I haven't had children. My previous three relationships including my ex husband, have all ended due to our failed attempts at conceiving a child. My ex husband has a child and several men I've been with have children. I'm a perfectly healthy woman with regular periods, yet for some reason I can't have children. I'm afraid to go to a doctor, because I'm afraid at being so young they will think I'm crazy for saying "I don't think I can have kids!" I know it deep in my soul that I can't have children, because as often as I have sex and as many people as I've been with; it should have occurred by now. I don't have PCOS or any other underlying illnesses that might cause this. The only thing I can associate it to is that although I started my meses at 13 years old, I didn't get body hair or pubic hair until I was 15. I still do not have underarm hair and very little in the pubic area. My breasts are what I call underdeveloped although very large; they still look like a 13 year olds breasts (shape, color, firmness) and I do not have cleavage. I never developed curves like most women, even though all the women in my family are hourglass figures; I'm straight. I still have horrible acne, almost as though I were 12 years old (not quite as bad as it was when I was 12 but still bad) and my lack in secondary sex traits is the only thing I can attribute to my infertility.
 Debbie Miller, RN - Wed Nov 19, 2008 2:04 am

User avatar Hello,
You should know that many women who are married and having regular sexual intercourse do not get pregnant right away. Sometimes it takes several years to achieve a desired pregnancy, though typically with regular sex it happens within about a year or so. I would not worry too much yet. Of course you could be right about your "gut" feeling about not being fertile but you are right about probably having trouble convincing a doctor to worry just yet. The doctor could test your hormones to see if you have a high level of testosterone or something of that nature but your particular shape is not necessarily indicative of problems that would relate to fertility. Plenty of women with similar characteristics bear children just fine.

Best wishes.
 candygirl_84 - Wed May 06, 2009 3:17 pm


im a 24 yr old women who is recently married. before i got married during our engagement i was raped and became pregnant. though my beliefs and mentally was against it i had an abortion back in march 2008. i had to what i thought was a period a few months later and then it all together stopped with spotting here and there. i am over weight and thought the stress of everything happening around me might have caused me to skip my period. we are now in may 09 and i have not had spotting or anything. my husband and i have a regular sex life. up to a few weeks ago i was having alot a nausea and lower abdominal cramping, mood swings cravings and fullness of the breast. when i was pregnant before alot of this i had. ive done several pregnancy test now and three of four came with one dark line and to what i see a second one started and never finished. i later went to buy first response and two lines appeared and then one disappeared. nothing stays in my stomach and im always hungry. ive always been on the heavier side but not one to have a big appetite.
 Debbie Miller, RN - Sat Oct 24, 2009 12:27 pm

User avatar Hello,
Usually it is wise to repeat the pregnancy test after about a week when the negative test is not confirmed by a period and you are sexually active. There are other reasons for missing a period, including PCOS, cysts, hormonal irregularities, etc. so it would be wise to schedule an appointment with a gynecologist.

Best wishes.

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