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Date of last update: 10/16/2017.

Forum Name: Female Sexual Disorders

Question: Spotting after and pain during fourplay (fingering)

 chewy0901 - Tue Feb 24, 2009 5:38 pm

I am 18 and still a virgin. The first time my boyfriend fingered me was about 3-4 months ago, and straight after he had i had slight blood spots. My periods wasn't due for another couple of weeks, yet the spotting carried on for another few days. After the spotting my periods came at the normal time. I did not take much notice, as i had heard that it happens to other people. Whenever he fingers me, it doesn't feel 'pleasuring' just very uncomfrtable. Eventually i tell him to stop.

Its now months after, and he fingered me again. Straight after i started spotting again, just like before. It was accompanied with no period symptoms like cramps or sensitive breasts, just blood and no clotting. It's still bleeding now and its been 4 nearly 5 days and it's still another week before my period is due. This time he fingered me, it was extreeemmmely uncomfortable and resulted in me crying (tearing).

We don't often do anything with me as we never get the chance, so i'm not sure if this is regular after everytime he fingers me.

Thankyou for reading the long post; i will very appreciate any reply.
 Debbie Miller, RN - Sun Mar 08, 2009 2:21 am

User avatar Hello,
It is quite normal to have spotting following sexual activity. It is possible you still had your hymen intact and there has been some breaking of it, resulting in the spotting. I would not be alarmed. Also, sexual enjoyment is something that takes time to learn and when you are in a caring relationship, being considerate of each other is an essential ingredient. He needs to know how you are feeling so he can learn better technique. You might also benefit from some lubrication.

There are all kinds of feelings involved here that can result in this being a not-so-pleasant experience. Included might be an inability to relax due to circumstances, risks, fear of what else this may lead to, etc. I think it will resolve in time unless you have some history of sexual abuse or some trauma that you need to work out with a therapist. However, whenever a person contemplates becoming sexually active it is a good idea to have a discussion with the health care provider. There are serious risks such as sexually transmitted infections as well as pregnancy that can disrupt your life. You should talk about protection against this. While condoms cannot guarantee you will not become infected, their use can help reduce your risk.

Good luck.

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