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Date of last update: 10/14/2017.

Forum Name: Gynecology

Question: Female Exam

 KathyH - Mon Jan 07, 2008 3:23 am

Hello. My name is Kathy I am 24...will be 25 next sunday.
anyways, i read in the rules to be short and to the point. so i will do my very best to just spill it...please know that this is difficult to ask...and I am glad I found this place online. very smart.

I have never had a gyno exam. I am not sexually active. Not at all. I neve have been. I am abstinant from all sexual activity. there is a need to say that I was abused as a in a medical view point only, I have experienced intercourse with a male from the ages of 3-12 years old. (blah!)

I am scared to death to have this exam. not even sure i could go through with it even. considering the fact that I am not and will not be sexually I run the same risk as those who are? is it even necesssary for me to have this exam?

thank you for your time, I hope that I was brief..and to the point enough.
 Debbie Miller, RN - Mon Jan 07, 2008 6:38 pm

User avatar Hello,
I am so sorry about the past problems you experienced that have contributed to your understandable fear of an exam. It is recommended that you have a routine pelvic exam even if you are not sexually active. It would be good to establish yourself with a doctor you can trust - perhaps a female would be more comfortable for you. You should discuss your history with the doctor prior to your exam and it is possible for you to meet with the doctor at a "meet and greet" appointment just to get acquainted without any clinical experience at that time. Usually these are done without charge. If it feels like you can talk freely with this doctor, go ahead and schedule an exam for later but make sure she understands your fear so she will take nothing for granted.

Sometimes getting the experience out in the open and talking with an understanding doctor can help you to cope with the past and prepare for possible future sexual activity. By establishing a doctor-patient relationship, you will have opened the door for the time when you may want to talk about such activity and will be more comfortable doing so. You may even benefit from a qualified therapist as well.

As for the exam, the doctor will check your vital signs - blood pressure and pulse. You may have blood drawn to rule out thyroid disorders, check iron level, etc. She will examine your breasts for any abnormal lumps. The pelvic exam will be done gently, using a speculum that has lubrication so it will not be painful. She will check the cervix and vaginal lining and palpate for your ovaries by pressing gently on the abdomen. Working on relaxation exercises and focusing your attention something you enjoy (visualization) will help because tensing your muscles is where any possible pain will come from.

I hope you will follow through on this and find a trusted friend in your care provider. Nurse midwives also provide this service and they are well-qualified. If you have any questions about sexuality, your periods, contraception, future reproductive concerns or any health issue, this would be a good time to address those so take a list of questions you might want answers to because it is easy to forget when you are in the office and feeling nervous.

Best wishes.
 KathyH - Mon Jan 07, 2008 10:53 pm

Wow, I am really really grateful that I found this place, because this was really helpful and encouraging. thank you vey much.

I thought I would look like a weirdo if I got too nervous to do it. And didnt think that the doctor would understand. Normally doctors are so unpleasant...they are so busy and don't really seem to notice when i am really really scared and nervous, or jumpy.

I didnt think to tell them...maybe I can do that.

I do have a therapist, thank you for mentioning that...we have been working together for 2 years and I am still just at the surface, scratching away. I needed a more medical 'here is whats going to happen' approach and couldn't bear to actually 'speak' to anyone about it, yet.

Honestly, I just do not think I am capable of letting someone, anyone do that to me. But I do feel better about the possiblility of just 'talking' about it. And that is some progress, for me anyways.

There have been many many times, I probablly should have gone to the doctro for weird things that happen to that area of my body, but I just couldn't. I just beared the pain and went on.

so basically, just because I am not sexual and haven't been..well, since....doesn't mean I am exempt from needing this exam. that stinks a lot.

I appreciate your time, I really do.

Thank you, Kathy
 Debbie Miller, RN - Tue Jan 08, 2008 9:39 am

User avatar Good luck Kathy,
You have a huge burden and it sounds like you are doing great in taking charge and learning to get past this. Many people have been successful in overcoming the pain and trauma like you have experienced. They ultimately are often wonderful advocates for the abused. My respects to you.


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