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Date of last update: 10/14/2017.

Forum Name: Gynecology

Question: afraid of having sex

 IANBD - Mon Apr 06, 2009 1:36 am

i am 25 years old and i am really afraid of having sex with my husband. this is first time i am going to have sex with him. i heard its very painful and sometimes the woman may have bleeding too! can you tell me how it can be less painful and more comfortable?
 CMHCurious - Fri Apr 10, 2009 12:52 pm

Just relax. Tensing of the muscles will make it more uncomfortable. If this is your first time having intercourse, then try to relax, do not tense up your leg or uterine muscles and try not to stress.The more you relax, the less painful it might be. Also, yes you may bleed a little bit because your hymen is not broken. Its normal. Try not to worry about things I'm sure you'll be fine.

-Best of luck
 Debbie Miller, RN - Fri Apr 10, 2009 3:14 pm

User avatar Hello,
The secret is take your time - both of you have patience and use some lubricant. Lack of lubrication which can be due to rushing things too much, is the primary cause of pain and bleeding. Sometimes a little blood from the hymen is present but it's nothing to worry about. For most people in a loving relationship with tenderness and foreplay, even the first time is not at all painful, even if it is a new experience. Try not to worry because tension can cause muscle tightening and you want to relax as much as possible. Talk to your husband about your concerns and I'm sure he will be gentle and patient. Good luck.

Best wishes.

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