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Date of last update: 10/14/2017.

Forum Name: Gynecology

Question: Embarrassed, nervous, scared and clueless

 allforhim - Wed Feb 09, 2005 3:44 pm

I am totally new here and way embarrassed. I am hoping that perhaps someone can help me out and give me some ideas/thoughts to kind of put my mind at ease about all of this. I've never liked going to the doctor, and have always had fears about it to some degree. Now, I am aware of a problem and possible solution, but am scared and embarrassed. Trying to call around to local hospitals to be told they don't know what you are talking about is hard. If anyone can help, I'd appreciate it.

I've only been married about a year, but my husband and I are not able to have sex. For me, it was painful and incredibly uncomfortable (a lot of pressure and inability for him to "get in"). I had never seen a gynecologist before, and was recommended to someone locally.

When I went for my appointment, I explained our issue, as well as my embarrassment and nervousness, and fears. When she finished examining me, she told me that I should go see someone at a hospital downtown b/c there was an anomaly "down there". She said that the opening of my hymen was so small she could barely fit a Qtip through it. She was surprised that I could menstrate through such a tiny opening. She also told me that I should go have an ultrasound done to see "how far the anomaly went" and went as far as to say that she did not want to refer me to anyone b/c she wanted THEM to find it without her thoughts tainting their diagnosis.

Needless to say, this devastated me, and left me scared to death to think she was that surprised by what she found. It's taken me a while to come around to looking for some answers, but one of my husband's aunts works for a gynecologist and she said they see this often.

The doctor she works for said that with the description of what I told her the doctor said, I probably needed a hymenectomy due to an imperforate hymen.

Right now, I am planning to make plans to travel out to Washington State to see this doctor and have whatever done that needs to be done because it seems like no one in the Chicago area knows what I am talking about.

I'm wondering what to expect? I very much dislike pain, I am afraid of the unknown of the outcome and recovery. Is this something that I could fly out, have done over the weekend, and fly back with my husband and have followed up with a local doc? How much pain is there following? How long after the procedure would I still be "recovering"? How long would it be before my husband and I could attempt to have sex?

My family doesn't talk about this husband's does, but it embarrasses me to talk about such personal matters...and I don't have a friend that I trust that deeply...If anyone has had this experience or knowledge of it, I would be grateful for any help.

Thank you.
 Shelly S, RN - Wed Feb 09, 2005 6:41 pm

Hi there! First off, please do not be embarrassed. Its good that you are seeking help to repair your problem so you can begin to live a happy and healthy sex life.

As far as the procedure is concerned; it is an outpatient surgery. You can plan on probably going home the same day. You will more than likely receive pain medication afterward to take home with you. Immediately afterward you may feel fine but then experience some discomfort when the local anesthetic wears off. I do not imagine you will be in severe pain or anything though. Some hymenectomies are even done in the dr. office if that sheds some light on how minor it is. As far as how long til sex, I can not really answer that. It would depend on the physician preforming the procedure and what they feel is adequate healing time.

Good luck! I think doing this will help you immensely. I hope I was of some help. :)
 allforhim - Tue Feb 15, 2005 3:49 pm

Ok, that helps...I guess I Am just wondering if there is any further generic information that can be shared so that I know what's going to happen and what all is involved. Is there a span of time that is typical with recovery? Like I said, I'm just trying to work things out in my head...

 missmoo - Thu Feb 24, 2005 10:23 am

There's a link about hymenectomy on this very site:

Click here!

and this is on a more personal note from another board:

Click here!

Google works wonders :) Good luck

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