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Date of last update: 10/14/2017.

Forum Name: Gynecology

Question: 19 and no sex drive

 morbidballerina - Tue Feb 02, 2010 4:57 pm

I am 19 and have no sex drive. i've just been married and love my husband. when we first got together ( 10 months ago) everything was fine, about 2 months later i started experiencing pain and eventually didn't want it at all. it has been like this since. when we do have sex i can still have several orgasms ( lucky to have 1 with previous partners) but i am not getting arroused (not becoming wet)... this is causing me to avoid intimacy and sexual encounters . please HELP! i'm too young for this to be happening, and i don't want to start out my marriage this way
 Justin84 - Sat Feb 06, 2010 7:37 am

My wife had the same problem.
same sort of story too. started out awesome. eventually it started to hurt, then the sex drive disappeared..
we aren't sure the cause, but it happened right after she went on birth control. so she tried a variety of types, and could not get her sex drive back. she could still get off, and we'd still try to have sex, and occasionally she'd want to but it was extremely rare. when she was off the birth control her sex drive was better, but still not the way it should have been. after the birth of our 2nd child it seemed to repair itself...

my guess, its hormonal... maybe stress related? you did just get married..
 Debbie Miller, RN - Mon Feb 22, 2010 5:28 pm

User avatar Hello,
Sex drive is a very unique and different experience for each individual, and while there are exceptions, women often do not have nearly the same drive as men anyway. I can offer hope in that experience and time with patience can lead to more success in this arena over time. You may have heard that a woman's sexual prime is in her 30s, while men reach theirs in their late teens and early twenties so don't be discouraged - the best is yet to come.

It won't be a quick fix and hormones, emotions, relationship details all play a role for women. Try not to be discouraged and avoid focusing on the "big O" but rather, work on the relationship, the closeness and try variety in techniques. Be sure to use extra lubrication in case the hormones have taken a toll in that department as well. In time this will most likely improve with practice.

Outside demands on a woman's time and energy - physical and emotional - all contribute or detract from her sex life. Chances are things will resolve even if the desire isn't what you hope it would be. Try not to compare yourself to others and realize that many women are like this, wishing for an effective medication to enhance her desire. So far, this has not happened.

Best wishes.

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