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Date of last update: 10/12/2017.

Forum Name: Sexually Transmitted Diseases

Question: I have herpes. Does he?

 Spectrespecs - Sat Aug 01, 2009 3:40 pm

I am 19 years old and recently was diagnosed with herpes. I'm still waiting on the tests to see whether it's type 1 or 2. I have a feeling I've had it for a while, as I think I had an outbreak in December but didn't realize what it was.

I have been having a monogamous relationship with my boyfriend since April. We've had frequent sex and always used a condom. Last week, during a particularly vigorous session, I started to feel mild discomfort around my hymen and labia minora (as best as I can describe it. Basically, the walls before my vaginal opening). I figured it was just some friction and allowed him to continue. The next day, we had sex again (with a condom), but the discomfort was still there. The following day, I looked down there with a mirror and saw two sores.

After a check up, they confirmed it was herpes.

I was just wondering how likely is it that my boyfriend has herpes, assuming I'm the one passing it on to him?

Before we would officially begin, he would manually stimulate me and then put on the condom himself. Is there any way that when figuring out which way it unrolled, he inadvertently put some of my vaginal excretions onto the inside of the condom before putting it on?

Assuming he gave it to me, is it likely that he went without symptoms for an extended period of time? He claims he's never had an outbreak. I've heard symptoms can be very mild for both males and females. Is there any way of telling who gave it to who?

Considering he's never had an outbreak with visible lesions/rashes/etc., would a blood test show him coming up negative for herpes?

Is it still safe to have sex with a condom if I have herpes and he doesn't? Are there any percentages of the likelihood of spreading it? Hard facts would be most preferred.

Any and all extra information you could throw at me would be most appreciated. Thank you so much!!
 Dr.M.jagesh kamath - Mon Aug 03, 2009 11:52 am

User avatar First you mention after a checkup.Visual dignosis of herpes could be deceptive..Also possible you have a herpes type 1 from a oral cold sore from your partner which he may not have recognzed.Recurrence is a hallmark of herpes and pending diagnosis you can have condom based sex but would be prudent to wait till a firmer lab diagnosis is available.

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