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Date of last update: 9/9/2017.

Forum Name: Pediatric Topics

Question: How do I reverse the effects of Emotional Abuse

 mommy619 - Sat Oct 27, 2007 11:08 am

I am a 25 year old mother who understands that I am emotionally abusing my 6 year old daughter. I constantly tell her that she's not good enough and that she's doing everything wrong. (This is what my father used to say to me) I noticed that she's starting to shy away from society and is always asking for my approval of things. How do I reverse the damage I have caused and start making things right. As of this moment I keep buying all these gifts for her to try and get my baby girl back. I just don't know how to do it to win her affection back and let her know that things are going to get better.
 Dr. Chan Lowe - Sat Oct 27, 2007 3:44 pm

User avatar Hi Mommy619,

This can be a very difficult situation. Recognizing this issue is going on is difficult so I applaud you for this. I would recommend that you consider seeing a counselor as well as consider family therapy.

It is unlikely that simply buying gifts is going to be effective although this can be a first step. The biggest thing that children want is approval from their parents. I would suggest that the best thing you can do is spend time with your daughter and tell her how much you love her and how you think she is the greatest daughter ever.

Being able to do this also means recognizing that you may not have had this happen to you in your past. This is where the counseling for you comes in, to help you recover from this lack and develop mechanisms to cope with this.

If you continue to work at this you'll see dramatic results but it does take time. Having someone to talk to that can help you recognize issues (i.e. the counselor) is very important. Now is the best time to start on making this better.

Best wishes.

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