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Date of last update: 8/24/2017.
Forum Name: Psychiatric Topics
|Stv - Sun Dec 11, 2005 11:52 pm||
When i was a little boy i had this fear of thunders.But i got over it eventually and from the age of 15 i didnt have any fear during a storm.I would go in front of the window and watch the storm,and when i saw a lightning i would count the seconds until the bang was heard to see how far or close it was.My mother was afraid during a storm and i would comfort her.I must note that i had a fear of loud bangs too when i was little and that's probably mainly why i was afraid of thunders also.But this dissapeared too as i grew up.I could hear guns firing next to me,at first with a little fear over the unexpected bang,but then i became more used to it,and at the end i liked it.At easter i would go to the church and stand there admiring the fireworks and the firecrackers.
But something happened.At the age of 22 one day something triggered the fear of thunders and storms again.I had a relationship with a girl who i loved very much.One day we went for a walk in a park.As we were going there i saw lightnings far away and i feared the thought that we would be sitting under trees while a storm was closing in.So i told her that we should not go there.Generally i felt uncomfortable being outside in this situation.But she didnt listen.She wanted to go to this park (it was a usuall meeting place for us) and i could not persuade her otherwise.
So we went there and i kept looking at the sky constantly to see if the storm would come closer.It didnt.But i had the fear in me.We ended up arguing about this matter.(We argued a lot that summer).Next day in the night i was home and a storm eventually broke.She called me because she was afraid (really loud thunders going on), but then i realised i was also afraid.I closed the window completely and talked to her with the phone to one ear and my finger to the other.
A month later we broke up.I must note here that our relationship was very intense in feelings (my feelings mainly) and i had fed up with many of her anxietys and problems because i loved her and wanted to be there for her.But these things fed me up.And i couldnt even seriously make a stand and disagree with her in some matters because she always kep saying that we would break up,and that she couldnt take this anymore e.t.c.And because i was madly in love with her i always backed up.As i see it now all these things that i kept inside me suddenly exploded at a point and made me not even want to be close to her anymore.And i was divided because i loved her but i couldnt be with her anymore.Anyway we broke up.
The incident with the storm happened one or two months before we broke up.It was the time that all these bad feelings were building inside me.So i believe now that this was maybe the main reason why i reacted like this that day.Somehow these lightnings clicked something inside me.Maybe i connected them with the overall emotional situation hat was happening to me.
The fact is that since then i am afraid of storms and thunders and lightnings.I tried sometimes to cope with it, going to the window during a storm,to watch it as i did long ago but i backed up.Almost every time there is a storm i put earphones and loud music for not to hear the thunders.I run the risk of damaging my ears too.I almost have panick attacks.My stomach turns around and i get the urge to go to the toilet when a storm approaches,and i get increased heartbeat.And i get depressed seeing the sky darken..I run the risk of damaging my ears too.It's 4 years now that i am in this situation.4 years since this thing happened.I am 26 now.
I know its mainly psychological.But i havent figured out a way to cure this.Maybe if i was able to conquer my fear and go and watch the storm and listen to all the madness outside ,maybe i could cure it.I don't know.It's frustrating.I watch the weather constantly to see if there is a storm in the next days.And i have learned so much about the weather and the weather models that i could be an amateur meteorologist.And to top all the storms are getting more frequent in my area the last 4 years.I live in greece where we didnt have many storms generally.Maybe 2-3-4 every year, but now its around 15-17 per year.
I have not gone to see a psychologist or a doctor about this.I don't want to take drugs cause i know they wont do good.And i cannot have the this image for myself, taking drugs over something like this.I am not mentaly ill.I know there are ways to cure it,like going to face it with courage,but i havent been able to take the big step yet.The thing that makes me feel better is that i know i didnt have that fear when i was a teenager.And i remembered how it was.I remember watching the thunders without fear.And i believe i can do it again and get rid of this thing.
Maybe one of the reasons that contribute to this problem is that i havent found another relationship since then, a girl to be in love with.I feel that my strength has gone away with this girl.I feel that i gave her everything and now i don't have the strength.It's all in the mind, i know...ANd one of the reasons i cant be with a girl in a relationship right now is that fear.I don't want to be with a girl and face a situation with a storm and embarass my self eventually in front of her.Although maybe it wouldnt happen this way.Maybe i would have the strength to overcome it while i would be with a girl.There were times that i found the strength to overcome difficult situations like this when i had no choise.So i may be able to do it,and maybe i would cure it this way,but i havent tried it yet.
So what do you think?What should i do? I even tried EFT method (the one with the fingerings in parts of your body),through a manual of course.I saw what i had to do but maybe i did it wrong anyway,Sorry for the big post.I kind of psychoanalysed my self here so that you knew the aspects of this problem.
|spongebobkids - Wed Dec 21, 2005 8:06 pm||
As far as storms go I used to be severly afraid of them. I got over it by getting one of those relaxation tapes of thunder storms and playing it at night softly as I slept. It took a couple of months but one night I slept thru one of the worst storms in the area(I was the only one in the family to stay sleeping). Give it a try it might help
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