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Date of last update: 8/24/2017.

Forum Name: Psychiatric Topics

Question: Dressing up like a girl / gay

 Acrobat - Sun Jan 15, 2006 12:53 am

Hi, im sorry if this is the wrong section but i have no idea where to post, and no idea where else on the internet or real life i can talk about this.

My nephew (brother's son) is nearly 5 years old, and he likes to dress up like a girl. At first we all thought it was just a kid's thing messing about, but now he insists on doing it almost all the time. He wears dresses and high heels, and likes having his nails painted. He also dances around and flutters his eyes lashes and wiggles... and generally acts VERY feminine. My parent's are concerned that he is gay.

Personally i am also concerned that he is either gay, a cross-dresser, or likely to be a trans-sexual in the future. I will accept him whatever he chooses, and love him no matter what, and i don't consider being any of those things as bad, and i don't judge people who are gay/cross dresser/etc... But i am concerned because if he *is*, his family will struggle to accept it, and life might be hard for him.

So my first question is...... Is it normal for kids to still do this at 5 years old, and to insist on it alot?

Now heres the complicated part..... His mother is slightly crazy (to keep it simple). She encourages him to dress like a girl and laughs and hugs him when he does it. I read elsewhere that kids can do that just to get attention that they feel their brother or sister gets more of. What worries me, is that not only is he doing it for attention, but his mother makes it worse by encouraging it alot. He is also very VERY spoiled. He gets his own way 100% of the time, and screams and has a fit if he doesnt get his own way 100% of the time. Even for the very smallest thing.... he is very demanding and screams like mad if he doesnt get it instantly. Its quite scary for me. The "encouraging him to act like a girl" just makes it seem even more mad.

Can anyone suggest anything i can do? There is NO WAY in the world i could possibly say anything to her about it. And i have mentioned it to my brother who totally agrees and said he will try to stop it, but has clearly failed and/or given up.

I am so scared he is not only going to grow up to be a nightmare-brat-from-hell and maybe even have alot of discipline troubles at school and nobody will have a chance of controlling him and he will end up in prison or something....... But he is basically being pushed into being a cross-dresser at the same time.

Im just worried for a little boy who could grow up confused and messed up. Apart from suggesting to his dad (my brother) that his mother practically forcing him to be a girl isnt good... and that he needs to stop letting him get his own way for EVERYTHING, my only other option is to just worry about it to myself.
 Acrobat - Sun Jan 15, 2006 12:58 am

I should mention i know dressing up is normal for kids. I dressed up as spiderman probably until later than 10 years old. But this is dressing up and acting like a girl, and its for the ENTIRE DAY. Not just something that lasts for an hour so he can play with his sister or something... this is something he demands on doing for the whole day and freaks out if anyone tries to get him to wear his normal clothes to goto the store or whatever.
 lilysuzanne - Wed Jan 18, 2006 7:32 pm

To me, it sounds like the child is being psychologically abused. I don't know what "problems" the mother has, but the child may be in a state of turmoil. I would call a social service or report this as child abuse.

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