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Date of last update: 8/24/2017.

Forum Name: Psychiatric Topics

Question: Uncomfortable around people

 Someone123 - Wed Mar 07, 2007 6:41 pm

Hello, i want to post about something that is bothering me for a lot of time. I am from Bulgaria so please excuse my bad english.
I feel very uncomfortable around people, i don't like talking to people and people make me anxious, in fact i cant be myself around people. When i am speaking to someone half of my mind is analising his moves, mimics, i wonder what the peorson is thinking at the moment, thats why i get really distracted in conversations and i never remember names. When i am around other people i try to act as normal as possible so i try to control my every movement, i say things in my head first before saying them on loud. Its very hard for me to look people in the eyes when they are looking at mine.I like observing people when they are not watching, how they react, how they walk, talk etc. and i try to copy these things when i interact and talk to others. i can be completely relaxed and comfortable only when i am alone. When i get into argument with someone i get really frustrated even from small things my heart starts pumping fast and i get an incredibly overwhelming adrenaline rush. I don't remember the last time i cried, and i actually laugh inside when someone else is crying or is sad.(eg. my girlfriend). Yes i have a girlfriend for 3 years now and she doesnt even know me well( i would say she knows 40% of the real me) And she is the closest peorson i have. I actually prefer watching pornography than having real sex with real peorson. I will be 20 soon and realised i have some kind of problem only 6 months ago. Please post your opinion anout my problem.
 Dr. K. Eisele - Sun Mar 11, 2007 12:39 am

User avatar Someone123:

Wow, this is a big problem, not just for you and your girlfriend and social contacts, but for someone on the other end of the computer screen to figure out.

It could be lots of things, but the most likely answer, by virtue of statistics alone, is depression. When people are depressed, they prefer to be alone, partly because they haven't got the energy to deal with anyone else, partly because they feel so inferior, and partly because they just don't give a darn. You have a lot of anxiety also, which is a common symptom of depression. Preferring porn to real-live sex could be performance anxiety.

The symptoms of adrenaline rush make me think of panic disorder, but on the other hand, the way you describe the problem, doesn't really shout "panic disorder" at me.

I'd like to know more about the feeling of "laughing inside" when someone else is crying or sad. Is that a satisfying experience for you, or is it an event that occurs more intrusively? For example, when she cries, do the corners of your mouth twitch as if driven by a powerful force? Or, is it more like feeling incredibly inferior--so much so that you cannot imagine how you could make her feel better, since youare so inferior in your mind.

I think you need to see a psychiatrist to determine precisely what the problem is. I have a feeling that this can't be diagnosed over the internet.

Good luick to you.
 Someone123 - Sun Mar 11, 2007 9:05 am

Dr. K. Eisele,
ABout the depression, i really don't feel depressed, i don't know what i feel axually, When my GF is crying i do the thing whith analising her reaction , i know in my head i should feel sad, but i don't feel anything really,sometimes her sadness and crying seem very funny to me but i don't show it with my face. I also know that i should try to make her feel better, but i don't, i just watch her cry.
Its really strange to me because i did not use to be like that before. Its like i don't know (cant feel) what is right or wrong anymore, for example when i say or do something to make someone feel bad, my conscious don't tell me i should appologise or that i did something bad, i don't feel anything.
About the adrenaline rush, yes its very bad sometimes, first i get really frustrated and then when the rush comes, i get stiffed , my vision gets blurred and sometimes cant even move.
p.s. THank u for the advice, i tryed forums first , because as i said i feel really uncomfortable around people and i don't think i can explain myself to someone correctly in peorson.
Also I don't have someone with mental disorders in my family as far as i know.
 Dr. K. Eisele - Sun Mar 11, 2007 5:10 pm

User avatar Someone123:

Hmmm.... I think you are having derealization or depersonalization reactions to others' anguish as well as to your own. This happens in severe anxiety disorders, which would go along with your physical symptoms that occur when you are anxious.

Anxiety is a very treatable condition. The best treatment is with antidepressants, because they are also anti-anxiety medicines. The only problem with this treatment is that, like their effects for depression, the effects are not immediate. Some physicians will also prescribe a mild sedative to go along with the anti-depressant to make it easier to wait for the antidepressant to work. Such a mild sedative might be hydroxyzine (Vistaril), or even diphenhydramine (Tylenol PM).

I understand your anxiety about going to see a psychiatrist, but don't worry, we are trained to put people at ease so they can open up about their problems. When patients find it hard to explain the problem to me, I always ask them to describe it instead. Maybe that will be able to help you, too.

I wish you the best of luck. Feel free to come back and let us know how things turn out.

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