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Date of last update: 8/24/2017.

Forum Name: Psychiatric Topics

Question: Molested when I was a child now with...

 Just Us two - Wed Dec 26, 2007 3:44 am

I am wondering I was molested when I was a child by my father whom did this to me as a punishment not only himself but he would have his friends do this too if I was really bad and didn't listen... now with saying this.... I spent a long time institutionalized when I was a child because no one knew this was going on they thought I was crazy....until thye put me under hypnosis and figured it out...
But I hav enoticed my entire adult years I have repeated the same patterns... II am 31yo and I have had 2 serious boyfriends and several just one night stands... I have noticed in the long term relationships that I tend to be clingy in fear of abandonment and yet the first one I had my daughter with we were together 8 long years... he beat me very veyr bad brolen bones and all and very veyr verbally abusive...that was from 15-23yo. When I finally left him I was co-dependant because I had no one when I left just as he wanted.... It took two years to move on from th at..... only to meet my current boyfriend or as he would say Best friends only.... he does not hit me yet he has a control issue... he will put me down use me and verbally abuse me.... yet I can't leave him... its like an obsession.... I don't know why I can't leave them.... we lost our son in 2006 when the hospital over medicated him right afte rhe was born (16hrs) and since then I have always held resentment against him because he wasn't there at the hospital for the birth or death by his choice....and at the same time he told me he holds guilt because of that....Its like when I think they are cheating on my I go literally psycho..... I see what I am doing but I can't stop what I am doing or saying.... its a compulsion.... How do I stop this?? I don't believe in meds.... so I won't take there something I can do to not repeat my patters from my past? I find that sex is the driven point of my relationship.... I don't focus on anythiong else except that aspect....Why??? I want a happy family life.... but how do you breaks the patterns....
 Dr. K. Eisele - Sun Dec 30, 2007 12:21 am

User avatar Dear JustUsTwo:

The only real way to change these patterns is through therapy. Medications are helpful for some with this kind of problem, but not always. To use an analogy, taking a medicine for this kind of problem is like wearing a band-aid to prevent an infection. The actual treatment you need is with a psychotherapist. The kinds of therapy most helpful are called STEPPS/STAIRWAYS and DBT. When you go looking for a therapist, you should ask if he/she is trained in either method.

Good luck to you.

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