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Date of last update: 8/24/2017.

Forum Name: Psychiatric Topics

Question: Husband has some issues with toys.

 HappyLady27 - Wed Feb 13, 2008 3:31 pm

My husband is very attached to a stuffed animal. It was a animal from when he was a child. When we first met I was introuduced to it as the toy from when he was a childand that was it.However it has progressed and he sleeps with it between us, he makes the bear dance and talk. He told me he waited until we were married to make it talk.He and I both have to sit with it,and play with it and if I say anything it hurts the bears feelings and his. Im not sure what to do. I do belive he has family with mental issues, could this be one?
 Dr. K. Eisele - Sun Feb 17, 2008 7:50 pm

User avatar Dear HappyLady27:

That is a good question! Just from what you said, I really don't know. The only similar thing I can think of is simply an immature way of dealing with the world.
 HappyLady27 - Sun Feb 17, 2008 8:46 pm

Thank you so much for replaying, it could be he dose have a some stress going on between work and family. However like I said I knew about the stuffed animal it was shown to me and then put away. Once in a while it was brought out but not much. After we got married it just progressed. Now it sleeps with us, plays with us. I told him again today that am uncomfortable sitting with a bear everymoment. He told me that I needed to except the bear he loves me, the bear then turns his ears down and protends to cry. if I get mad the bear is now protending to go to grandmas house and I have to appologize to it. He likes to protend that the bear is real. I want him to go to a psychiotrist but he wont. Im getting more afraide day after day! We even now take it to his grandma sometimes. This is a thirty year old man!
 Dr. K. Eisele - Mon Feb 18, 2008 12:53 pm

User avatar Dear HappyLady27:

Does he ever say anything about the bear getting revenge? For example, does he ever say that the bear will hit you, or kill you?

I agree that he does need psychiatric help. He could have a psychotic illness, in which he believes the bear is real.

Best wishes, and feel free to come back and let us know how it all turns out.
 HappyLady27 - Mon Mar 24, 2008 7:57 pm

I havent posted on this for a while but I wanted to do a update. Yes he has made jokes about the bear hitting me. We are going to councelling and I told the pshychiatrist about the bear and he will not go with me becuse he is afraide people are going to think he is crazy. If i do not love the bear I am dissrespecting him, all the bear wants is for me to love him and for me to sit with him and cuddle with him, the bear is a big part of my husband and when I make fun of him, it is like picking on him about his bad eyesight or about me and my weight. I have to love the bear. The psychiatrist told me to tell my husband that I am not going to talk to the bear I am going to talk to the person who makes him talk, I am going to hug the person who wants to makes him talk. This makes him more upset it is really freaking me out, I knew about the bear when we were dateing but it wasnt out only to say he had a bear. Now it sleeps with us eats with us and dances on me. I don't know what to do.
 HappyLady27 - Mon Mar 24, 2008 8:00 pm

Oh I forgot I have a question My sis and I were talking when ever we have a place to go he always has something to do to make us late. Going to easter dinner he decided he had to purchess a part to the frigerator so he dropped me off and went to the store and came back. Everytime we have someplace to be he finds someplace to be could this be Bipolar?
 Tim W Latsko - Thu Mar 27, 2008 1:50 am

Hi HappyLady27,

After readiing through your posts, I agree with Dr. Eisele that a psychiatric evaluation potentially could benefit your family. That said, may I recommend to faciitate that evalaution that you approach your husband and inform him that you have scheduled an appointment with your pychiatrist and that the bear will be attending with you and that you would like him (your husband) to attend the session. So you and the bear can work on these issues (as perceived by your husband) and to prevent any misunderstandings you want him (your husband) present.

You have one shot at this so have the session scheduled, give your husband the address, and if he does not agree to go with you, go with the bear and he just may show up.

I trust that the attending psychiatrist would like advance notifcation of your intention and purpose of the session, as you see it and what you would like to accomplish.

A Diagnosis of Biploar Disorder is unlikely....with the symptoms you presented.

Good luck and keep us posted.

 HappyLady27 - Thu Mar 27, 2008 9:39 pm

thank you so much I am going to try this but it will be hard. I forgot to tell you that his mother feeds into to this, she has always played with the bear and made it talk to him and sat with him, they always took it on trips like it was the family pet. Now when she comes up she asks about the bear she pets him becuse he will bring him to the grandmothers house on holidays sometimes she even likes him to come and stay with her for a while. The psychiatrist asked if I could talk to his mother see if she could help me I told her I couldnt get any luck with it!
 Dr. K. Eisele - Sat Mar 29, 2008 6:31 pm

User avatar Dear HappyLady:

I agree wholeheartedly with Tim's advice. I think that bringing the bear to the session just might be the "carrot" your husband needs to get him to the appointment.

I don't think your husband is bipolar, from what you've reported so far. I must admit though, that I'm at a loss as to what this may be, except possibly an attachment issue. Even that doesn't quite fit.

Good luck!

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