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Date of last update: 8/24/2017.

Forum Name: Psychiatric Topics

Question: 24 yr old male who is very very very shy

 Zack - Tue Mar 11, 2008 9:38 pm

Hi i'm a 24 yr old male who is very very very shy. I am not healthy or rather not in good shape since i haven't gone out in years. I don't like reciting in front of class when i was young, don't like people looking at me or look at what i'm doing. I don't even want most people to hear my voice so I never use the phone. I don't even want people to watch me play video games cause maybe they'll laugh at me that I'm not good at it. I'm easily embarrassed.

Now the problem is because of this shyness i'm scared of going out. This started a year into college when I had to commute instead of having a school bus which I had in highschool. I'm scared of having to poop. For example what if on the way to college I get a really really bad diarrhea or something and I can't hold it. I don't wanna poop inside the bus you know. I don't even want people to know i'm pooping in their house or at school. Because of this i havent gone out for years. Tried to go to a doctor but because of shyness I wasnt able to talk with him well.

Now I thought it couldn't get any worse. There was a time I kinda stopped taking my medicine. Then most of the time I have nausea and then I had insomnia. Now I went to the doctor again vomiting on the way. So I thought if I take my medicine back the nausea will go away. It kinda did but now, if I'm going to try to go out, im not just scared of pooping, i'm also scared of vomiting. I tried going on a birthday party near us which is like a 1 min drive(lol). I vomited and almost pooped in the bathroom. I think i almost pooped cause i was very nervous. Also I have insomnia it didnt go away even after I took my medicine again.

Then last night we had a temporary water problem so we had to have water delivered for a while. Last night I had a pee and looked at the pail and theres no water. So I got nervous what if I poop and theres no water to flush it its stinky what if people see it and smell it. Almost pooped then i tried checking the water again then there was water. After knowing that i got relaxed and went to sleep.

So i just want to know whats wrong with me. I don't think i have going out phobia its just that im scared of embarrassing myself. Not because of a panic attack but because of vomiting or pooping. I think its because im very very shy. Please give me some ideas. I need to get well or i won't have a future. I was lucky to get a gf online who comes to my house and took care of me for a while but we've broken up cause she's got no future with me. Thanks.
 Dr. E. Seigle - Thu Mar 13, 2008 4:40 pm

Hi Zack,

It sounds as if you have a type of anxiety disorder that is called a Social Anxiety Disorder. As you indicated, this condition can be very disabling in that it makes it hard for you to do many things that involve social contact, with the various fears that you have involving feelings of humiliation and shame. Such feelings are typical.

The good news is that this condition is definitely treatable with a combination of psychotherapy and medication. First, obtain a psychiatric evaluation to confirm the condition and make sure there are no other co-existing conditions. Generally, a psychologist or psychiatrist who can provide cognitive-behavioral psychotherapy, in combination with a psychiatrist, who might prescribe an anti-anxiety agent, typically an SSRI medication, could be very helpful. I would avoid looking to medication alone as being sufficient to treat the conditon; be sure that you get the benefits of psychotherapy as well.

I applaud your courage in discussing the Social Anxiety Disorder, and wish you good luck in getting help for it.

-Dr. Seigle
 Zack - Thu Mar 13, 2008 7:28 pm

Hi Doctor,

Thanks for the reply. I would just like to ask if do you think I'm scared to go out because of this Social Anxiety Disorder? Because I think I'm in the same situation as in the girl in the other thread entitled "Vomit Phobia in 7 year old?". The difference is that I'm scared to both poop and vomit outside my home(getting caught off guard). We are also the same in the sense that it's bi-directional that because of the anxiety, I get nervous more, I feel stuff in my tummy creates more anxiety.

I don't like it when people say or think nothing is wrong with me, that it's something I'm making up or just something stupid. I want to know more about whats going on with me before I try to go to a Doctor cause just thinking about it gives me stomach discomfort. It's like I'm going to fart. Nausea usually kicks in when I'm dressed up and ready to go out.

Thanks for your time Doc. Have a good day.
 Dr. E. Seigle - Fri Mar 14, 2008 4:46 pm

Hi Zack,

Yes, I do think that your anxiety about going out is probably related to the Social Anxiety Disorder. When you have your evaluation, your doctor can then answer many of your questions, based on knowing the specifics of your condition, background and other issues. It's normal to be anxious about seeing a psychiatrist, but most people feel afterward that it was a very positive experience with a caring professional, and that has set them on the journey to feeling better. Once agan, good luck!

-Dr. Seigle
 Zack - Fri Mar 14, 2008 6:18 pm

Thanks Doc. The problem is my experience is not that good after going to the doctor a couple of times. Seems likes he wants to be done with me quickly so he can get to the next patient asap cause lots are in line meaning lots of money. Hope to have a meeting with a caring professional.

What type of doctor should I visit? I'm more interested in the therapy. I think that's the thing that will help me. Of course with medication.

Thanks again.
 Dr. E. Seigle - Sat Mar 15, 2008 12:03 pm

Hi Zack,

It will be very important to have a psychotherapist that you can come to trust and feel comfortable with. Medication may be important as well, but not as a sole treatment. So, you want to have a psychotherapist and a pshychiatrist or a psychiatrist who is experienced in doing the psychotherapy as well as prescribing the medication. Again, good luck!

-Dr. Seigle

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